Just Me

Rockin the babies

2011-07-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks again to Shell for this great meme. I mean what mother doesn't love a chance to brag about her cherubs!

Boy is it hard to pick a few pictures of your babes out of zillions!! (but who but you wants to look at zillions of pictures of your babes...except for maybe Grandma :))
Here's a couple that hopefully capture their extreme cuteness!

Ethan

Aria

Emma (my New Year's Eve baby)

My Baby Bump(s)

2011-06-12T19:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Shell for this opportunity!

I absolutely loved my baby bumps. If you know me, you know I don't rock anything except babies but I do love taking pictures of my pregnant belly!!!

This was my first, my Ethan. I was so enamored with my belly, I would stare at it and feel it every night (probably freaked my husband out a little...lol) This was taken at 7 months.

My Second, my Aria. This picture was actually taken the day before I went to the hospital. You know how some days you just remember so well. It was a good day, the last day I ever got to spend with my Grandma :) My step mom and my dad took Ethan shopping so that my Grandma, Danny and I could have a little nap. I got to talk a little "one on one" with my Grandma which was really nice. We went to the park and it was a beautiful day and then ended the day with a yummy bbq and cards. I remember while we were playing cards Danny and I asked if they would stay another day......If only :)

My third baby, My Emma. This picture was also taken at 7 months. Emma was due on Christmas Eve and I absolutely did not want that!!! So when the 23rd came and went I was like please hold on please!!! Like a good girl she did wait a week until New Year's Eve. (Yes I really did not mind waiting a week I so love being pregnant [don't hate me :):)]

2011-06-12T19:41:00.001-07:00

My little Author

Ethan's extensive repetoire includes but is not limited too:

The new sled
The ABC book
The new baby
The new toy
The big dog
The rainbow

and my personal favorite:

Grandma is Coming!

Happy Birthday Girlie!

2011-06-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

My baby girl is now 5 years old.....where does the time go?

My dearest Aria,

You are such a joy in our lives. How precious are you. You have such excitement for life and you can do anything you want. I love that you have such an independent personality and a mind of your own (even though it can be extremely frustrating sometimes :)) yet you are still your mama's girl and love to cuddle. Your singsongy voice is music to my ears and how fitting with your name. :) I love you with everything in me girlie.

-Mom

Aria's first little boyfriend from preschool, Jon. They are so cute together. :)

Sunday Snapshot(s)

2011-05-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

What a difference a day makes....

Sunday Snapshot

2011-04-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter

Thankyou to the beoutifous Kellie at Hendrick's family for hosting

Happy Birthday my little man!!

2011-04-04T07:08:00.000-07:00

five days late cause stupid blogger wouldn't let me post for some reason...

My baby boy is 7! How I love this man.....the time has gone by so fast. I can remember bringing you home from the hospital. We had no idea what we were doing but no worries. You were such a good baby. We were so blessed. Everyone said oh you have no idea how things are gonna change; its so much work blah blah. Ya and I kept wondering when the work was coming. You were so easy and such a joy.
I am amazed at the new things you do all the time as you grow. Your imagination is truly incredible. It is such an honour to watch you grow and develop. I love you with all my heart my mansir!!!

Sunday Snapshot

2011-03-27T19:31:00.001-07:00

Sunday Morning Veggie Tales

A Good Book-Day 17 of DOT

2011-03-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I'd have to say a book I recently read called Loving What Is by Byron Katie. It's about accepting your reality and loving it and the fact that you can't change anyone else. This is something I really need to apply to specifically myself and that I can't change my husband. I also have some tucked away ugly lies about myself from myself (who doesn't) that I really need to work on and this book can help with that (if you let it)
I could go on but I'll just say Read the Book Yourself. :)
Thanks to Kellie from Hendrick's Family for recommending it! Love you Kellie!

Day 15 & 16 of DOT and a PLEA!!!!

2011-03-02T12:42:00.000-08:00

Ok I know I've been gone for so long. I really feel disconnected from things and I don't like it. It's been about 11 months since I worked up the courage to start this blog and I've really enjoyed the support from others and getting to know others. It's so comforting to have so many other women "get it". A man doesn't even know what "get it" means (those women talking in code again)
Anyways I don't wanna have to go away again but I'm really feelin' like I have nothing. If anyone has any ideas for something to write about or what I can do Please Please!! shout it out!!
I've decided to FINALLY finish this Day of Truth. It's good to have something to get you thinking :)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Well I KNOW I couldn't live without food but I really haven't tried and so don't want to. And I seriously wouldn't want to live without my cherubs either. :)

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Well I could definately live without some of my husband's annoying habits.....and actually mine too cause believe or not I do have them. Oh and periods! HA! (guess that's not possible though)

I'll be back tomorrow but in the meantime....

2011-03-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

here's a short humorous story my husband wrote (ofcoarse I think its brilliant :))

A MADCAP TRIP THROUGH SOUND AND TIME

It was 1991. I, the oldest child in my family of 6 or 7 – depending on how you count – had just reached my eighteenth year of age. It was a good year. I was too old for childish things like high school, which had intruded upon my often solitary and deeply introspective life, and too young for adult things like a job, which, I was certain, would have had the same negative consequences as high school. My parents’ divorce had occurred a year before, as had our mad dash from Denton, Texas to Kearns, Utah. It was but one of many desperate relocations during my childhood involving state lines, unpaid creditors and, above all, a chance to “start over,” as my father would say. It was also the year my mother had relinquished custody of my two younger brothers and two younger sisters to my father. To boot, Terminator 2 had just come to the dollar theater at Valley Fair Mall, which meant that I just might be able to afford to see it in a week or two.
On this particular Sunday, early in the Fall, everyone was restless; the boredom hung low and thick in the air. Minds went in circles. My father spoke in a deep rumble, “Let’s take a drive to see nature and go in the canyons.” The house exploded in happy cries with an occasional holler. The mood rapidly shifted, as it so often does in the minds of those not well.
We all shuffled out of the house, intent on having fun, or if not having it ourselves, at the very least seeing something that could be fun. We were a group of full-hearted adventurers, would-be professionals and wasted potentials. And still so unaware in our youth that we were being led by a madman, a lunatic in civilian clothes painting traumas and neurosis onto the canvas of the minds of those he legally guarded.
After a not-so-short trip through the center of a city of fast food joints, ice cream parlors and shopping malls, of which, owing to our perpetually indigent circumstances, we would not be partakers on that day nor any day soon. When there was nothing left to question or complain about, my brother, Ben, of 10 years of age, announced firmly, “I wish I was with Mama,” adding unwanted tension to the already terse atmosphere in the car. Indeed, lots of our trips came to play out this way.
The station wagon, by its very name, suggests shame. This wagon was particularly crummy. Two hundred and fifty thousand miles and still churning and turning away; a paragon of mechanical endurance. Tan and chrome with the imitation wood side panel peeling away like dead, dried skin. The Oldsmobile forced itself across the bridge and up into the mouth of the canyon, passing a sign at the entrance which read: “ENTRANCE $5.”
“Holy crap!” Sarah, my 16-year-old sister, exclaimed. “Did y’all see that we have to pay to drive up here?”
The air was moist, not quite sultry; it was cooler than that. It smelled sweetly of leaves rotting on the ground. Towering cliffs dwarfed the old station wagon, as it clunked up the steep grade. Nature’s stoic beauty sat all around us yet we couldn’t seem to quit groveling amid the mire of our lives.
“WE ARE NOT PAYING TO DRIVE UP A MOUNTAIN CANYON!” Boomed my father, his voice serious, yet the car roared with laughter. Moments later, “A DEER!!” Henry, my other younger brother, cooed. He was always the most observant.
“No,” my father said. “That’s a baby moose!”
For a moment everyone smiled. It was too much for the old man. “I bet they [the thieves in the park ranger service] hide behind the bushes and release that same moose over and again so people will feel like they got something for their money,” he commented.
Upon reaching the small shack where one was to pay for the privilege of meandering up a mountain, my father sped up the car. His mouth was a line and his eyes intent and everyone got quiet. We knew he was going to run right through that striped horizontal abomination that tried to separate us from freely enjoying things unscathed and natural. Finally, though, the impulse subsided, and the madman conceded to stop and pay the five dollars. Nothing could save them from the inevitable embarrassment to come.
“You people should be ashamed of yourselves; charging for this!” he sneered out the window at a blank expression and slight shoulder shrug. It was over.
We went up into the thin air, away from our house and thus got to be bored somewhere else. We looked around, tried to see things, made bad jokes and laughed too hard at them. After awhile, we decided that we could probably be just as entertained at home, and at least home had a toilet that flushed and everything – at least for the moment.
Sliding down through the foothills, with the sun already melted in the salt and dissolving quickly, we were all strange and quiet. We stared out our respective windows, but weren’t really looking at anything. I’m not sure what anyone was thinking about, but it felt as if we were all thinking about the day and its humdrum events, and how those events, as small and dull as they seemed, were important and not small because we lived them. It felt like we were thinking about things we didn’t understand and things we thought we did. It felt like the old dying stallion of a station wagon, as full as it was, had enough room for just one more.
Every trip one takes, however small, leaves the trip-taker with a fresh thread of an impression of himself. “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” It was a scriptural declaration each one of us was familiar with, and one that gave us hope, however vaguely. Sometimes we’d take whole days and file them under “forget” or entire experiences and assign them as “nothing” – and pretend to be rid of them, to be unaffected by their triviality. But sometimes, on a rainy day, while staring out the window and letting our thoughts float through our minds like feathers on a lake, I remember the feelings: the boredom, the anxiety, the embarrassment, the resolution, the hundreds of shades of emotions that toppled through all of us in the family every day. I remember the feelings thoroughly. And if I listen, I can hear it sometimes. I can hear the echoes of sound and time, in its bitter amusement, laughing, laughing, laughing, like a madman laughs – right before he expires.

Feelings

2011-01-12T06:20:00.000-08:00

I've been debating whether I should post about this or not but it just weighs so heavy on me sometimes I feel it might help to get it out there.

I'm 33 yrs. old and I still feel an enormous amount of low self esteem that all stems from something that happened 24 yrs. ago. Well that and my more bitter than sweet school days. Why do I hang on to these things? Why can I not get past this inferiority complex?
I've gotta be honest with myself. I do have feelings sometimes when I am around others that I am truly not good enough to be there or that it would really not make a difference to anyone if I am or not.

I've talked here before about my childhood illness and how it shook me, so why can't I shake these feelings now 24 yrs. later. Well how do you know it stems from that? Oh because I was the absolute complete opposite. Seriously I could not have been a more confident, self assured, outgoing child. So why the big change? (and I'm aware it's not all bad but what I'm talking about is) So many people have had greater challenges, unspeakable things happen to them, to overcome and I am constantly amazed and inspired at how they do it. So why do I have such a problem with this? And it just makes me feel ungrateful and worse. It's a vicious cycle I tell ya!

I'm really not this down most of the time but I gotta be honest with myself. This does hang over me and I'm not sure what to do about it. How can feelings be so contradictory because don't get me wrong I'm not all about low self esteem. I do have a side that's confident that I have a lot to offer and I'm just as much worth knowing than the next person. But as for the darkside, I hate it and I need to find a way to get rid of it.

I'm still not sure if I should publish this but then again I've been saying that with my whole blog and it's always been a positive experience.

A day late and more than a dollar short

2010-12-26T13:26:00.000-08:00

Merry late Christmas!!! Hope that everyone had a wonderful and very blessed Christmas. Here's hoping that this New Year's will be fantastic and that God's blessing will shine upon you throughout this coming year.

Tip: In order to get a 2 yr. old to sit for a picture, bribe with candy.

Ok get this...I've been married for ten years and have never done my own turkey or made my own stuffing. With only two people and then even with little kids that eat next to nothing on Christmas because they fill up with goodies who wants to make a huge turkey. Well now that the kids are a little older and eat still next to nothing I decided this was the year. So friday I prepared my mashed potatoes and yams (you know to lighten the load a bit on Christmas) and then came the big turkey day! Oh it turned out wonderful, so moist and tasty. I look so forward to turkey leftovers. Yum! Anyways after our meal (I was too lazy to clean up right away) we had a nice fire, or so we thought. Danny started the fire, went out to the garage to get more fuel, and the ghost that hates Christmas and wants to make everyone miserable closed our flue! Oh the smoke! Oh the soot! All my wonderful cooking, all the blankets, all the sheets!! Good thing it was only 6:30 so I had time to wash all our bedding. NEVER EVER having a fire in our ancient fireplace again!!!! Hence no yummy leftovers for me :(

Would you just give up on a million dollars?

2010-12-19T13:05:00.000-08:00

Ok I know I said I wasn't gonna post till the New Year but I was talking to my husband about this book we read and I had these thoughts and wanted to share them.
The book we were talking about is Sarah's Song by Karen Kingsbury. It is a short little easy read for Christmas. A story about an elderly woman who has a story to share through her 12 days of Christmas countdown. She prays for someone to share the story with and it turns out to be on of the aides that works at her care center who is also on the brink of divorce.

If you had a job that you could do but had to work really really hard at and were told at the end of a year you would make a million dollars....would you just give up after a week of trying because it was too hard???? I sure wouldn't and I don't think I know anyone who would either.

So why are so many people so willing to just give up on their marriage and family for worldly, superficial reasons?? Yes a marriage lasts a lot longer than a year but the reward is also much much MUCH greater than a million dollars.

Too much else to say.
--I'm verklempt--
"talk amongst youselves"

Gratitude

2010-12-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

To my two faithful readers,

Please do not stop reading me even though I've taken a hiatus from blogland and probably will not return until after the New year. Things are a little touch right now (can't complain too much though because I know a lot are in far worse situations with this economy). Danny still hasn't found a job and his unemployment ended about a month ago so things are really tight. He does have a couple of good looking prospects though which we're hopeful about. Anyways on to the gratitude...

This Christmas and holiday season could be a lot worse for us but we are so very blessed to have many angels among us. First of all my dear mom who has sacrificed and given us so much. Second our beloved bishop who is so kind to us and helped us so much. And thirdly to a wonderful elderly couple who gave us money for the kids Christmas. And ofcourse there are other angels who have helped us so much in the past. We are so blessed and I am so humbled by all we've received. I am so thankeful for all the wonderful, positive people in my life that help to lift me up when I am down and inspire me when I am uninspired. I am so thankeful that I have the three most beautiful, perfect, healthy kids on the earth and a husband who is a wonderful man who continues to become better all the time. I am thankeful that I live in this great country that allows me the freedom to worship my Beloved Savior without persecution. I am thankeful I can go to bed each night in a warm bed with a full stomach. The list could go on and on but I'm sure you get the point ;)

At the Christmas season I hope we can all have, as the beloved President of my church says, an "Attitude of Gratitude".

I have missed blogging and the friendships there and the closeness of other women who "get" it. I hope I can come back in the New year with some more positive feelings to reflect on my blog. Love to all!

Hunger Games??

2010-11-18T08:25:00.001-08:00

Ok am I the only person that found the Hunger Games deeply disturbing?? With all the popularity of the book I thought...well I guess I'll give it a try.....don't think I'll be reading the other two though. Actually read is an incorrect word....I skimmed it cause I couldn't even read it all but unfortunately the morbidity of it peeked my carnal curiosity.
I mean even though there may be some interesting dialogue and interactions between characters does not erase the fact that the premise of the book is teenagers killing teenagers!! I'm sorry I don't care how interesting the characters are and other things, I can't get past the fact that basically the story emerges from this heinous ritual of teen slaughter??
---Am I overreacting?--

Mummy Dogs

2010-10-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

(about the most creative I get at Halloween :))

Acceptance

2010-10-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

First of all....thankyou so much to everyone who did that little favor for me. I was really surprised at the willingness of people to do something so nice for me. Thankyou.

Last night a group of us Utah Bloggers had our second (hopefully often) GNO. It was awesome! First of all we had potato martinis which rocked!!! Potatoes in a martini glass (boy I felt classay!) We had a few "new" girls come that didn't make it to the first one and man.....who knew Utah women could be so awesome!! I guess I'm living in the wrong area. Seriously these women are so sincere, so genuine, just so AWESOME!! I can't tell you how much I love these girls and how much I appreciate them! Seriously even though I don't know them that well it feels like we've known eachother for years. At the risk of sounding pathetic I have to say that I've never felt this kind of acceptance before. Apart from my mom and my now family here and maybe two girls back home I've never felt this before. Not that people don't accept me, but that I guess I haven't let myself feel it as much because of low self esteem and all that good stuff. I've never (with the exception of the afore mentioned two) had girlfriends that you can just share yourself with and be accepted for who you are and that "GET" crap in life ya know! I certainly don't wanna diminish the other two fabulous ladies frienship but being 1800 miles away does put a little damper on getting together. I think blogging forges a special bond between people. People seem to be more accepting in bloggy world then they are in the real world and that doesn't really make sense but maybe it's just because they're reading it and I think when you can''t respond face to face you can feel more empathy and sympathy and ofcourse on the other end there's the feeling more comfortable because you can hide behind your computer. :) Boy THAT was a run on! I kinda type like I talk and don't worry about punctuation. (not that I would even knoe how to use it correctly) but anyways I'm rambling. Don't know if that made sense or not but it does to me. :)
I just want these ladies to know how much they mean to me. :)

Totally Selfish Request

2010-10-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

This is a test....just a test...if noone responds that is totally ok because I know this is totally selfish and maybe a bit tacky but most of you don't know me IRL and never will so if you think that then I'll never know right?

There's a big Christmas concert here every year and the best thing is it's FREE! and guess who is guest singing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir this year!!.....David Archueleta!!!! Oh man I gotta go. It's almost impossible to get tickets because there's like a bigillion registrations from all over the place so you're chances of getting picked are pretty slim so therefore it only makes sense that the more registrations you have the better the chance right? Anyways you can only register once each computer.....soooooo if any of you are feeling particularly altruistic and would like to do something for someone who is willing to beg please let me know and I'll email you on the details of how to register (all you have to use is your name; you can have them sent to my address)

I've never done anything this bold before so before I lose my nerve I better hit publish :)

Friends you Love-Crystal

2010-10-01T05:50:00.000-07:00

Today I have the pleasure of welcoming Crystal at Wanna Be Balanced Mom Crystal is such an awesome lady and wonderful mom of two.
Any woman can serve a mission.
But only a strong, wise women will learn and grow from it.
Here she is:

Hello Everyone, it's great to be here today guest blogging for Tylaine. I recently had the opportunity of meeting Tylaine in person a few weeks ago, and have really enjoyed getting to know her more through her wonderful blog.

Well, today I thought I'd share with you a few things I learned while serving and LDS mission. What inspired this post was actually my very own journal. While reading up a bit on my missionary journal, I'm reminded of just how HARD my mission really was, and I mean this in a good way. I've heard that a mission teaches you 15 years worth of lessons all compacted into 18 months-2 years, and boy do I believe it! My mission was the hardest thing I've ever done, but of course wouldn't change a thing about it. What it has given me, is priceless.

As I was reading, I came across one of the many entries that talked about my struggles out there. I had written down parts of this Ensign talk that really spoke to my heart at the time, and I'd like to share it with you. I think we can all relate to this at one point or another.

Be Not Afraid
by President James E. Faust
"I learned the lesson that life's burdens don't seem to be so great if we don't allow ourselves to get paralyzed into a stupor of inactivity by our sorrow and pain."

He goes on to talk about the children's classic The Secret Garden, author Frances Hodgson Burnett. The author writes this commentary:
"So long as Colin shut himself up in his room and thought only of his fears and weakness and his detestation of people who looked at him and reflected hourly on humps and early death, he was a hysterical half-crazy little hypochondriac who knew nothing of the sunshine and the spring and also did not know that he could get well and could stand upon his feet if he tried to do it. When new beautiful thoughts began to push out the old hideous ones, life began to come back to him, his blood ran healthier through his veins and strength poured into him like a flood...Much more surprising things can happen to any one who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has sense to remember in time to push it out by putting in an agreeable determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place. 'Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow.' "
Sometimes we allow ourselves to fall into this trap of self pity and doubt, and forget about the huge potential we really have. Most of us don't even know what we are capable of, and sadly may never know. It takes great strength to rise above our burdens.

The beginning of my mission was especially rough for me. I couldn't speak the language yet, was completely exhausted, homesick, and feeling inadequate in every way. It took a little time, and a lot of patience before I began feeling like I knew what I was doing, and could say what I wanted to say.
I didn't see a whole lot of lives being changed while I was there, and sometimes wondered why I had come in the first place.

A few main things I learned on my mission was:

#1- My mission was mostly for ME, to go through the ups and downs, and to prepare me for the life I was about to lead. All of our REALLY tough lessons, ALWAYS lead to something great!

#2- We may never know of the lives we've touched or the people we've inspired or helped along the way. All we can do is be mindful of others who may be in need of encouragement, kind words or even a little love. We may be an answer to someone's prayers without even doing much but simply being there with a smile on our face.

#3- Be grateful for our OWN individual talents, and have faith that we too have something extraordinary to offer the world. Push out those negative thoughts, enjoy the sunshine, stand up on our feet, and do it!

Calling evil good and good evil

2010-09-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Isaiah 5:20

In the Old Testament, Isaiah spoke of how Israel had an impaired ability to recognize good and evil. In Sunday School today one of the things we discussed was how we do that today. I think we definately see this today in so many ways and it is only getting worse.

The first example that came to mind of evil becoming good is pornorgraphy. It is disgusting how far things have gone with this. Decades ago what was considered hard porn is now soft porn and what was considered soft porn is mainstream; what is considered hard porn today was absolutely unimaginable then. I used to spend a fair amount of time on the religion forum at city-data. Ofcourse this was a hot topic and it was amazing to me how many people considered porn ok even good in some ways. This insiduous evil is becoming more and more prevalent in our society and sadly more and more tolerated.

My second thought was that of homosexuality. Now this is an extremely heated subject so obviously there are people that will get offended. Don't be afraid of your opinions. We all have a right to free speech. This is in noways saying that homosexuals are evil people in anyway. I don't even like grouping people. People are people and we are all children of God. All I'm saying is that living a homosexual lifestyle is becoming so mainstream and so pushed for that if you are against it you are considered a bigot. Everyone has a right to believe what they want and if you don't believe in the Bible that is just fine. But I do and the Bible states that

Lev. 18: 22
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Lev. 20: 13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have
committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be
upon them.
Romans 1: 24-27
Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
For this cause God agave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their alust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

That is pretty clear to me. Homosexuality is wrong. And I do not agree with the "world" trying to get society to say it is ok. Believe what you want but that's my opinion.

Another thought that came to me (and I'm sure this'll get some panties in a knot too)
is extreme feminism. Men and women are created equal and a marriage should be an equal partnership. That does NOT mean that men and women have the same roles on this earth. You don't hear men screamin' that they can't have babies do you? There are certain roles in life that are meant for women and some that are meant for men. Men and women are here to help eachother fulfill their individual purposes on this earth not compete for them.

Do you have any thoughts on how evil can be seen as good today?

Seeing good as evil is a bit trickier. I thought awhile on this and the main thing I can think of is just how we as a society treat other people. As sad as it is I think sometimes helping someone can be looked down on is some circumstances which I won't go into. It all has to do with juding. Since when should what other people think come before helping someone in need.

Organized religion or any religion really can sometimes be seen as "uncool" or "restricting". If you believe in God or a Higher Power you are not giving credit to yourself and blindly following what others tell you to do; You're not an intellectual. Isn't it sad that trying to live a virtuous, morally clean life can be seen as a negative thing?

What do you see as good becoming evil in today's society?

ALSO: Please be sure to check out my guest post with the lovely and awesome Amanda at Enchanting Havoc :)

Friends you Love-Brittany!

2010-09-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

Thankyou to Brittany at Unexpected Surprises for doing my first ever guest post on my blog. :) She is such an absolute sweetheart and I hope you check her out and come to love her as much as I have!

We all love our children.

Well MOST of us love our children.

In fact for most of us it starts the exact moment our eyes latch on to their perfect little smooshed up faces fresh from the womb.

How can you love someone so much that you met seconds earlier?

More then that, how can you love someone you haven’t even met?

I fell in love with my son the second I found out he was in my tummy.

My entire life changed!

I was living and doing things completely for him.

I sometimes think I can’t love him any more then I do right now..

And then he’ll do something and I fall completely in love with him all over again.

The other night we were finishing up our bed time routine.

You know the usual: books, songs, prayers, kisses…

When it got to the kisses, I bent down to kiss his perfect pouty lips.

I looked down at him with my hair draping around his face, and he flung his little arms around my neck.

He laced his fingers together, and proclaimed: “I am never letting you go, my little mommy!”

He held on so tight that when I tried to sit up, he lifted up with me!

The smile on his face, and the feeling of his love made my heart feel fuller then its ever felt!

I love how much he loves me!

I love that he isn’t afraid to say it!

So I hugged him longer that night.

I smelled him deeply.

He smelled of “little boy.”

The scent of baby has vanished from his skin.

Just as it is gone, I know that these moments with my son will soon vanish as well.

One day he wont want to cuddle with me before bed.

One day he wont wrap his arms around me so tightly.

One day it wont be cool to kiss his mommy before saying goodbye.

But I know that there will never-ever be a day that we will stop loving each other.

I know that one day when he is big and grown, that he’ll wraps his big arms around
me, and I will have that overwhelming feeling of love all over again.

That moment when I don’t think I can love him anymore then I do in that exact second.
Because if there is one thing I have learned in my 3.5 years of being a mother it is that my love for him only gets stronger and that each and every moment is something to treasure.

So embrace your child today.

Tell them you love them.

Smell in their sweet sent of innocence…

And feel your heart fill with that overwhelming feeling of love all over again!

Then...

and Now

Day 14 of Day of Truth

2010-09-22T13:57:00.001-07:00

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

This is a toughie. I've talked about disappointments from my family and my husband before but I really don't wanna go there anymore. I don't think it's right to dwell on that and I wanna move forward. So instead I wanna talk about someone (not a hero) who is constantly letting me down and that's myself.

Dear Self,

It's time you made a change in your outlook on life and therefore your relationships and your happiness. It's time you stopped letting yourself down. It's time you started living up to your potential. It's time for no more regret.

On a sidenote: I would totally appreciate any suggestions of books to read on personal relationship, or personal success or stuff like that. I just finished reading an awesomely fantabulous book called The Traveler's Gift recommended by the wonderful Amanda atEnchanting Havoc I would highly recommend it.

Day 13 of Day of Truth

2010-09-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.

Well not an artist in the musical sense but still an artist.

Dear J.K Rowling and Stephanie Meyer,

You sistas Rock! You allowed my imagination to drift away from the hellish world I was temporarily living in. If only for a brief moment I could jump into the world of Harry Potter or lust after Edward Cullen (hey its not a sin if it’s a mythical creature right?) You sistas were always there for me with a wonderful exciting escape from the suckiness I had goin' on. When the tears and hurt came to the surface all I had to do was pick up a book to push them away which was essential to survival. Thankyou for allowing me into your fantasy worlds.

P.S. Gotta give props to Josh Groban who is helping me now. If you could make it with a voice. His would be it! :)

Beautiful Bloggy Friends

2010-09-19T09:37:00.001-07:00

I received this "sweet" award from my bloggy buddy Di atLittle Bit of Life She's great so you should go check her out and she's pregnant so she may kick your butt if you don't!

You're supposed to answer this one teeny question and then share the love with 4 other "sweet" bloggers. Like Di, I'm going to team up with frienship month (or whatever it's called) and ask these four lovely ladies if they'd like to guest post on my blog. I've never done that and thought it'd be kinda neat but if you don't wanna that's perfectly O.Kay. :)

So here goes: If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

I think I would change myself back then and give myself more confidence to be who I was and to not hide things because I was ashamed or whatever. I would of enjoyed school more and put more of myself into my assignments rather than just barely getting my (ya used my brain more :)) Ya I could go on and on but it's a quick question right :)

And the award goes to:

Brittany at Unexpected Surprises This girl is like the epitome of sweetness but yet has a sassy side too ;)

Jane at Aging Mommy Jane is such a talented writer and such an amazing woman with an amazing attitude. BTW she is 47 with a 3 yr. old daughter so I think she deserves a standing ovation!!

Crystal at Wanna Be Balanced Mom I just recently met Crystal IRL and she is one of the most gorgeous people I've ever met. Both inside and out.

Kerry at Just Me (Don't you just love the name!) Kerry is fairly new at her personal blog and I think she has done such a beautiful job!

If you haven't check these "sweet" ladies out please go and show them some love! :)

PYHO

2010-09-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

Shell,

I hope you know how awesome you are for doing this meme. It is so wonderful to read other's heartfelt words and being able to relate to people we never thought we would. Blogging is so wonderful like that. Bringing people together :)

Ok this post is probably gonna be really depressing and full of self loathing and oh poor meisms but I just really need to get it out there.

How do I stop comparing myself? How can I be happy with who I am? With what I can do when someone always does it better?

I'm tired of hearing just try harder. Just be positive. Ok but how? Seriously I honestly don't think I'll ever get to a point where I don't compare myself and that comparing tends to give me a major inferiority complex. Comparing. Every. Single. Aspect of my Life! And then there's looking at it from the other angel which is well look at what you do have compared to people in third world countries and you're healthly beautiful children and so on. I don't wanna hear that cause I do know it and it just makes me feel worse about feeling worse ya know? Maybe I just need to move to a third world country. Someone there is probably more worthy to live in this privileged country than I am.

Please tell me how. I've read so many blogs and just heard about people coming out of a darkness in their life, finding themselves and finding happiness. How? Do you just think your way out of the mess? Or will your way? I tell ya I would do just about anything not to feel this way. I hate it. I'm so appreciative of the advice and kind words I have gotten from so many, I just don't know how to internalize them. And it's not just a funk like many said on another pathetic post I wrote (although I do appreciate your comments). I've felt this way for a long time. I think there's just times when I'm able to push it down farther. Feelings Buried Alive Never Die (ok that's not original it's a book title) But so true right?
Please tell me your secret? I want to know! I don't know exactly how to change??

Test

2010-09-14T19:41:00.001-07:00

.............

Mommy and Me Monday, 11&12 DOT and a guest post

2010-09-13T06:16:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

We do enjoy playing outside in our backyard! (not looking forward to the weather change...mom that is!)

I love this picture ('cept I look constipated)

Just look at dat face!

One in each hand!

Since these next two are really short I'm just gonna combine them.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

My eyes. Don't see it but people have often said I have nice eyes. At the time in my life I couldn't talk my mom said I had very expressive eyes.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

I guess I could say something smart like my baby belly or flabby arms…lol but who gets complimented on that right?
So I'm guessing it's something you wish you were and aren’t? My mothering skills, my well behaved children, my super clean house, my crafting skills, my….oh this is supposed to be realistic right? Ok I'll go with my teeth……I really wish they were whiter but I'm too chicken to do bleaching. (I think I was supposed to say something I'm good at that I don't get compliments on but well…just can't think of any really)

And now….please please go over to Di's at a Little Bit of Life and read my very first guest post and let me know what ya think!! (well only if you like it :))

Sidenote: I turned off the comments on my last post and now I can't get them back. I switched all the settings back and they still won't come back! Can somebody please email me and let me know how to get them back!

Friday Confessional

2010-09-10T06:12:00.001-07:00

-Last night I met 7 other awesome Utah bloggers

-they were hilarious

-they are absolutely fabulous and it was wonderful to meet them all!

-if you haven't checked them out you really should

Of course you know Glamazon our gorgeous hostess. She is so nice and so funny!

And Laura the Purseblogger needs no introduction. I'm sure everyone knows how fabulous she is. She is an all time sweetie and I adore her. She was my first follow and has always been a loyal friend and commenter on my blog. (who knows why? ;))

Mindi from was there from Mindi's Manic Meanderings She is frickin' hilarious people. Where does she come up with this stuff? I LOVE her. She needs to write a comedy book man!!

Kellie came from Hendrick's Family with her beautiful new baby boy! She looks absolutely fabulous and is so sweet. I'm so glad I got to know her better.

Next we have the amazing Ky-ann from Insanity is Overreated(like the pepper only hotter) All I can say is pure awesomeness! She is fabulous and hilarious and it was so nice to get to know her.

Crystal was there from Wanna Be Balanced Mom . She is totally gorgeous and had on the cutest little jacket that I totally wanted to steal. She is super duper nice and sweet.

And certainly not last was the wonderful Kate from Smug Marrieds. Again with the gorgeousness! Kate is awesome. So funny and so sweet!!

It was so nice to get to know all of you ladies!!

Now for the darker confession:

-the whole time I couldn't even really believe I was there because I was so close to not even starting a blog; this blog world is so huge and overwhelming

-I have a "short" complex (among many others)

-I wore platform shoes thinking if I boost my height I might boost my self esteem

-didn't happen

-why can't I be happy with myself?

-maybe I shouldn't be so personal on my blog

-I feel like people just feel sorry for poor little me (insert whiny voice)

-I have to do a lesson for church Sunday and I was sososo hoping that last month's would be my last cause I sosososoSO want to move to Idaho!!!

-But part of me thinks that's selfish because my kids are so happy here, they love their school, but they'd be happy anywhere right? they're young

-I need a change, no many changes and I'm hoping a move would give us a fresh start cause things just ain't that good right now

-I'm kinda bummed

-why would anyone want to be around me when I don't want to be around myself?

-I need major self esteem surgery

-sorry for the pity party

-can I borrow your life for awhile?

I think I have a tapeworm!

2010-09-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

Ya seriously no joke ladies....I eat like 3 times as much as my husband.

I think I have a basketball in my lower abdomen. I put on a pair of my jeans today that I just wore a couple days ago and I couldn't even do them up!!! (granted they were extremely tight the day before but still!! not a good sign) This is the roundest I've ever been and let's just say I'm not one to freak out or get obsessed about weight loss or anything but ahhh!!! just a little. I always read your metabolism drops at 30 and then again at 35 so watch out...and I was all like whateva!! but I think it's true. I'm still eatin' like I'm 19 but I'm not lookin' like I'm 19! So here I am gettin ready for the next drop in a couple years and if things get worse I will fully freak out! Now I don't mean to sound vain or anything I'm really not concerned as much with my actual weight or even how I look so much (ok so I can't lie) but I just wanna be healthy and extra belly fat is not healthy. I've decided to make a concious effort to brave the eliptical machine that's collecting dust in our room at least 4 times a week. So it's thurs. and I've done it twice and you know what?....I'm dang outta shape! I don't wanna be huffin' for breath after 2 min. There's 70 year olds more in shape than that! (Not that I wanna be that ambitious) So I guess I need to start makin' a few changes then:

1. Actually do the above said eliptical torture er uh workout. (I've resolved myself so many times to do something and then petered out so many times, I've used pragnancy and nursing as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted (no wait I still do that :)) I even bought a 45 dollar book online and read the whole thing and was all pumped to do this stuff....right!) Now remember I'm only talkin' like 20 or so min. on the machine not a 2 hour workout like crazy insane people do (just kidding I actually used to really enjoy spending hours at the gym pre kids :))

2. Stop eating 3 breakfasts
Ya that's right....I eat one with my two oldest in the morning and then after I drop Ethan off at school I eat 3/4 off Emma's that I'm feeding her (bad mom!) and then I usually get famished again at 10 o'clock......Seriously tapeworm guys!!

3. Replace ice cream, chocolate bars, and kettle corn with healthier snacks (not all the time ofcourse....come on be real!)
Ok I bet noone will believe this but I would actually rather snack on fruits and vegies and stuff but they're so dang expensive! I keep saying to myself the grocery stores are in a conspiracy to make people fat! Seriously it's expensive to eat healthy!

4. The opposing two days I do not do torture machine fun I will do some weights. Ya I know that's only 6 days. Sunday is my day of rest....gotta have some break. (if you've ever chased a toddler around for an hour you will know church is enough of a workout!)

There. :) *sigh* I think that's a good start.

Defining Moments

2010-09-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

Last week I talked about My Story and how I feel that it was a defining time in my life. Shaped who I am today. Whether they be big or small we all have defining moments in our life that shape and define who we are as a person. Sometimes they may be actual moments of decision...a choice that takes us on a different path in life; or they may be periods of time in our life that mold our character.
My illness was definately a "molding character" type of thing for me. I don't think I would be the person I am today or be where I am today if I hadn't gone through that. That was the first major defining time in my life. And the defining was quite gradual it that makes sense?
Other times it was a defining moment. Like when I chose to be baptized in my church. When I chose to move to Utah and get married. When I had each of my children. These are small moments in time but the defining continues throughout life.
There are many many decisions we make everyday that help define who we are. Saying yes to the responsibility of teaching the Gospel even though I really know nothing of the Gospel. Finally deciding to go vist another young mom in my area and getting to know what a wonderful person she is. Deciding that its OK to share myself on this blog and that I am worth getting to know and do have something to offer other people.

So what are the defining moments in your life? Really.....I DO wanna know :)

Day 10 of Day of Truth

2010-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Well I know I've talked about it once before here but I guess for now I need to let my sister go. I don't understand what or why this change happened in her life. I don't understand why she felt she needed to leave. I don't understand why she is alienating her family. It is like she is reinventing herself from what we used to know but we don't know her now.
I hope someday she comes back.

Mommy and Me Monday and Day 9 of Day of Truth

2010-09-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Last night we took the kids to the park. I got Danny to snap a pic. with his cell phone. It was super windy out as you can tell. And yes the kids are already in their pj's. They love going for "pajama" walks in the morning or evening.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Well ofcourse with moving to a different country there's usually a couple friends who drift away but sad as it is I'm gonna have to go with my brother.
Ofcourse we haven't T O T A L L Y let go, I mean we'll always be brother and sister and always love eachother but I think when we started drifting was when I moved away to college. We always had quite a close relationship growing up (being only 13 months apart) but when he started getting his own friends (and of course I had no social life) I tried to tag on sometimes. Like I used to play poker often with him and his friend. But as he got older we drifted, and then I went away to college and he stayed and went to university. The short summer I came home before moving down here we came together a little but not the same as when we were kids. It'll never be the same. Now we're both married and I've tried to initiate conversation (through email) but he's just never been the talking kind and it doesn't help we're 1000 miles apart. Maybe if we're closer. I want to be able to talk to him but a relationship has to be two ways.

My Story

2010-08-31T20:21:00.000-07:00

Thankyou toMama Katfor putting up this great prompt that allows me to share my story.

I'm also linking up with Shell for PYHO. Growing up I always felt somewhat ashamed of what happened to me. Obviously getting sick is noone's fault so it really does not make sense yet it is one of those irrational human emotions. Each time I share my story I think it makes me a little more confident in what happened and really be able to grow more from it.

I turned 9 at the beginning of Dec. and a couple days after Christmas my life changed forever. I collapsed, I went into convulsions, I went to the ER, I had spinal taps, I had Cat Scans, I had blood tests, I had lost almost every physical function of my body, they couldn't find anything was wrong with me. My mom begged to differ, she even brought in pictures of me to prove I used to be "normal". So….three different rooms, hours and hours of physical and occupational therapy, so much love and support, many great memories, 2 different hospitals and six months later I'm home. I get sick, I had therapy, I come home…..over right? WRONG. This is only the beginning. I still had a couple months of outpatient therapy, a few MRI's to go to and seeing a neurologist now and then and doing retarded tests that I absolutely loooooooaaaathed!!

But guess what? Years later I got to go on Oprah!

Oprah: Many times loved ones of loved ones (ya she speaks like this) turn inside and don't know how to deal with illness. How did your family react?

Me: I had the most supportive family in the world at that time in my life. My Mother, who was my absolute hero, did so much for me I can never truly thank her. Between work and home and taking care of my brother and sister she would come to the hospital 2 or 3 times a day to read to me; she would spend hours feeding me with an eyedropper, loving me and fighting for me when noone else would. I can't imagine what she went through. My dad who is somewhat one of those people you spoke of, would try to visit me almost every evening. Ofcourse he came afterhours when all the lights were off and each night I would wait behind the nurses desk (they all loved me) and watch that elevator intently. When it binged and my Dad walked out oh how my 9 year old face lit up. He would take me in my wheelchair down to the cafeteria where I would have my Doritos and then he would take me back to my room and tuck me in with those so wonderfully clean hospital sheets and blankets that I've come to love the smell of. Other family members would also visit me often. Having pizza at naptime with my aunt was one of my favorite times also. I have many other great memories of the support I received but I'll……

Oprah: (interrupting)….You talk a lot

Me: I know right?

Oprah: So how did your peers react? Were you held a year behind because you had missed 6 months?

Me: Because I was so young elementary school was still pretty good as far as the students being nice and accepting to me. All my insecurities came from myself. It wasn't until junior and high school that I received ignorant comments that were hurtful to me.
My very wise mom decided that it would not be a good idea to have me and my brother in the same grade so she chose not to hold me back which I think was probably the best thing. Before my illness my IQ was extremely high and although it did drop quite a bit right after it did come back, not quite to that level.

Oprah: How has your illness affected your life?

Me: Although at the time it seemed to have many negative effects in my life once I matured a little and saw things different I now can say it was one of the best things for my life. I am truly a better person. I think I have more compassion for other people that I might not have had. I was angry because there were so many physical things that I used to do that I could no longer do (well not nearly as well) but I think those things were replaced by qualities of character that are much more important.

Oprah: So do you believe your recovery was a miracle?

Me: I absolutely do and get this…even some of the doctors called me a miracle. There is just no way I could have recovered the way I did without a miracle. And that miracle had to have come from God.

Oprah: How has this experience helped your faith?

Me: Well before I don't think I ever really thought of faith. I mean I went to church and went through all the motions but I never felt anything.
It wasn't until I was about 19 that I think I truly started seeing this as a miracle and seeing how God directs our lives. There are times, especially right now when life kinda sucks, that I kinda wonder why He kept me around but I do believe that's what happened and I do believe there must be a reason. I just I find it soon. If I'm really diggin' deep I can admit to finding some of that reason but my insecure, low self esteem, doubting self doesn't like me to admit that. Workin' on that :)

(In case you're kinda slow like me I really wasn't on Oprah…that was just the prompt :))

This is a poem that I wrote in College many eons ago. I hope I have grown since then. :)

GONE

My life was stolen
Never given back
The way it used to be
Why?
Is it for the best?
Do I matter?
Will I matter?
I'm lost
Fear surrounds me
made up in my head
I don't care
Why should they?
Questions of doubt
Questions of pity
Will I stop
Who can answer?
No one knows
But me and Him
Is He there?
Is He listening?
Sometimes I wonder
I won't stop trying
I will fight
You may join
I welcome Thee
My heart is open
Set it free

(ya I never said I was a writer :))

Mommy and Me Monday and Day 8 of Day of Truth

2010-08-29T20:11:00.000-07:00

I hope I'm not breaking any rules here or anything but I thought it'd be kinda nice to review some mommy and me moments with the babes in the past. They grow up so fast and what mom doesn't love to go back and look at pictures of her babes! :)

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Don't you wonder what goes through babies minds sometimes. They have these intense looks sometimes like they're trying to read you or something. "So you're my mommy"

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.

Well I would say crap is a little strong but I do wish my Dad had (did) treated me a bit better. Not that he doesn't love me to death and I love him, he just didn't make very good decisions. When I was 4 my Dad cheated on my mom and then made her get a divorce because he had no grounds (back then getting a divorce actually meant something). On his turns to take us he would often take us to his girlfriends and make us stay up for hours when we were tired and just wanted to go home. I remember one time I got really really sick and wanted my mom and he wouldn't even take me home! Hello your child wants their mom and is 6 yrs. old get off your butt say goodbye to your skanky girlfriend and do what's best for your child for once!!! Ofcourse all this was unbeknownst to my mom and she had to find out from her 10 yr. old daughter. Anyways all growing up I really wish I had had a better relationship with my dad. I could never really talk to him and he missed so much of our growing up. We have an ok relationship today (ofcourse he would say its the best) but it will never be the daddy-daughter relationship that all daughters deserve.

Day 7 of Day of Truth

2010-08-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Definately my three little angels.

Right now life pretty much sucks (ya for a priveleged life living in America), but it does. My three little angels are the lights in my darkness and without them I wouldn't wanna get outta bed some mornings. Without them I might just lay in bed and cry all day. But with them I can find some happiness. I can find joy in their joy. I watch them play and my heart is full.

Day 6 of Day of Truth

2010-08-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

It's Day 6 of the Day of Truth challenge with Angel Believes

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do

It seems to be a common thread with mothers that their worst nightmare would be one of theit kids passing before they do. The other night I watched a true show about a mother's struggle with her son's epilepsy. My heart broke for her. Anything that hurts or upsets your child is a dagger to the heart. How helpless I feel when my child has the flu or something and there's nothing you can do. If I could I would take away any pain or hurt that my child would feel. I can't even imagine the heartache of losing your child.

Mommy and Me Monday and Day 5 of Day of Truth

2010-08-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

My little man started 1st grade today. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Don't know if I should rejoice in the semi quiet time with only two little girls or I should cry and feel guilty for all the mornings I could have done more "fun" activities with him. Right now I'm leaning more towards the latter but hopefully that will change to the former. :)

That was then...

This is now...

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life

I joined my church when I was 19 years old so I never really thought much about serving a mission because women usually go when they are 21. By that time though I was involved with Danny. I got married at 22 but I always wondered what it would be like and I kinda wished I had had that experience. So one of my goals, OUR goals, is to serve a mission together later in life.

Day 4 of Day of Truth-Forgiveness

2010-08-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

It's Day 4 of the Day of Truth challenge with Angel Believes

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

3 years ago my husband became addicted to a prescription drug. Because of this he became very mentally ill and his behaviour was beyond abnormal. It is a very long story but he did many hurtful things to me and many others (not on purpose....he was sick) but still the hurt and anger lingers and it is a struggle for me to truly forgive. It is easy enough to say, oh ofcourse I do he's my husband I love him, but when I'm alone and really think deep down I don't know if I completely have forgiven.

Is that awful??

Day 3 of Day of Truth

2010-08-18T07:40:00.001-07:00

It's Day 3 of the Day of Truth Challenge with Angel Believes.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I really can't seem to get over this mommy guilt thing. I yell to much. I don't do enough crafts. I don't read enough. Oh no I should be teaching my children to read, good grief my kid is 6 and doesn't know how to read yet! My kids deserve the world and I fall so very short. But then again I AM the mom they got. I guess somehow I need to get over it and learn to forgive myself for not being a super mom!

30 Days of Truth-Love

2010-08-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

It's Day 2 (for me) or 30 days of Truth with Angel Believes and the question is:

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love the fact that I am very sincere. Sincere to the point of easily getting hurt by others sincerity. I guess I'm just not jaded enough from this hard world. I'm just an anti-guile type of person. Don't go for it! It's nasty stuff.

Mommy and Me Monday and a New Challenge!

2010-08-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?
My kids and I have spend quite a bit of time in our backyard this summer. Just playing on our playset and the patio and blowing up the pool. The other week I took the camera out and ofcourse my son wanted to take pictures too! This is one he took.

I've been seeing this 30 Days of truth Challenge by
Angel Believes pop up on blogs and thought it looked very interesting. The questions are quite thought provoking and can bring you back into your past. I'm not sure if I can get through it as some of the questions are kinda tough and I don't have a lot of experience with them but I'm gonna give it a shot! I recommend anyone trying it! :)

First question:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Well this ones a little easier than it should be but then again we are our own worst critic (I hate cliches) I would have to say the fact that I'm so shy and introverted and not the real me with people. I have a good friend back home that I can totally be myself with: crack jokes, be a goof, cry my eyes out... and she still loves me and even thinks I'm funny?? Deep down I know that other people would too or at least not be mean or anything and keep their thoughts of "what a geek" or "how pathetic" to themselves. I know why I have such low self esteem because I didn't always I just wish I could make it go away.

Boys and Cars

2010-08-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

This week on of the promps from Mama Kat's Workshop was the first date you went in a boy's car. Now I'm not sure this qualifies as a dat although I'm sure it did in his eyes. :)

I had been going to my church's single functions and stuff for a while and never even seen this guy once. I see him once and suddenly he sniffs me out like everytime!! Being the nice person I am I talk to him and smile my lovely smile all nicey nicey (even though he's not really the kind of guy I'd hang out with). So we talk and talk and has a few issues in his life that I, being the nice person I am, try to help him deal with. We meet at chuch. We meet in his car. We talk.

At the time I was going to a religious institute like all day everyday and I musta mentioned it because one day he shows up!!! No more sleeping in the library in the morning for me! Ya he just shows up!!! Comes to my classes with me. Hangs on my every breath. Seriously I cough, I sneeze, I sigh, I blink; he looks at me like "Oh my gosh what's wrong, is she ok, do I need to do mouth to mouth?" Dude don't you work or something??

So me, being the nice person I am, indulges him and we play pool and pingpong and have more deep convos and he takes me out for lunch in his totally awesome jeep. His family like owns a theatre so I guess he has tons of money and doesn't really do anything all day. I mean what was he doing before he started stalking me?? Really though he wasn't the creepy stalker type more the "I'm gettin' older and wanna get married" desperate type. Unfortunately he wasn't the only "I'm gettin' older and wanna get married" desperate type the was attracted to me. What's the deal?

Anyhoo, after a while of this I'm gettin' kinda ticked at this guy encroaching on my special "me" time at the institute. But me, being the nice person I am, puts on a happy face and sucks it up. Finally I've had enough. This is the night at the singles dance. After about the 6th dance with this guy, holding his sweaty hands and enduring his awkward smiles and fake laughs at whatever I say, I've had enough. I pull him aside and say we have to talk. Me, being the nice person I am, can not just say the obvious; "You're suffocating me with your desperateness and awkwardness and I just can't take it anymore!!!" but sugarcoates everything and tries to let him down easy but unfortunately it is difficult because this guy does NOT take a hint! (and believe me I tried)

So the conversation went something like this:

Me: P we gotta talk

P: Anything for you darling (awkward giggle)

Me: You're kinda sorta imposing on my personal space and freedom and it needs to end

P: What???

Me: I'm just not worthy of you're undivided attention and devotion and think we need to end it

P: But I love you so much! I just love you so much!

Me: You'll get over it and find someone who has the same (clingy, desperate) loving qualities as you do.

P: O *sniff* K *sniff* I love you! Bye

Me: Boy that was hard. At least I can have my sleeping in the library back.

He sure had a nice car though!

Mommy and me Monday and a lovely tatoo

2010-08-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Yesterday after church I was lying down on the couch while Ethan played with his tinkertoys and as often happens Aria came and lied down with me. Ofcourse I had to get Danny to snap a picture. :)

Yesterday was also our 10th anniversary. Sat. afternoon I was just half sitting half laying on the bed and suddenly I felt this writing on my legs. I looked and this is what I saw:

Pretty cool! That'd be a dang cool tatoo (if I was into that sorta thing :))

Sad

2010-07-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

A good man who should be living life and being happy with his family is not. Because he is lying in a hospital room right now dying. He is a long time friend of Danny's family, he was there when Danny was born, he was a youth leader of his and quite influential in his growing up, he is a bishop in his Church, he has a wonderful loving family and now because of some stupid, idiotic, impatient driver, he is dying.
G. came down from Idaho to visit Danny's family. He went to see my FIL and after he left while driving on I-15 he was smashed into the side by some moron whizzing through all 4 lanes to make his exit. G.'s car rolled down the embankment and smashed into a thick concrete poll. He was lifeflighted to the University hospital. The doctors say if he was younger and didn't have the preexisting health problems he had he would of made it. Unfortunately his body could not sustain the injuries. So now because of some stupid, moronic, impatient prick, G. is lying in a hospitable bed dying.
I do not know G. personally but Danny does. So therefore I feel I do. I am very saddened for G. and his family and all the lives he has touched that will mourn his loss. It is very hard to undertand why things like this happen.
I cannot help but also feel a little (very little) saddness for the poor shmuck that did this. He is not a malevolent, evil person. He is just a selfish jerk who doesn't think before he acts. Now he has taken an innocent human life. He will have to live with that regret for the rest of his life. I sure wouldn't want that.

I wish I could of known you G.
I pray your family will find peace
I know you will.

Camping

2010-07-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have just one camping story to recall but I have many fond memories of camping growing up. I was quite young so the memories are a little foggy.

My Dad was the one that would always take us camping. There was one time we went with my uncle and aunt and their dog max. This is probably the one I remember most. I think I was about 6 yrs. old. Here's what I remember:

-Max gets into a fight with a horse and gets a bloody nose (Max was a Doberman and the biggest suck of a dog you ever knew....why he would pick a fight with a horse is beyond me???)
-I'm fishing while my aunt and her friend are soaking up some rays, fish hook gets stuck in my sundress (I ALWAYS wore dresses when I was younger, even fishing)
-My aunt tries to get it off but it is so tangled that she asks me to take it off so she can untangle it
-Little modest 6 yr. old me says "someone might see" (ya we're in the middle of nowhere and someone might come walking out of the woods to see my bare 6yr. chest with my little boobies the size of marshmallows)
-Showering from a makeshift shower in the trees
-Digging potty holes (the one reason I never wanna go camping in the wilderness again)
-We find a log boat or somthing on the brown creek river that we sit on and have a little "partay" (ya I'm 6)...well the adults
-The warmth of the sun in the tent in the afternoon
-Sitting around the campfire looking for falling stars
-S'mores!!

A few other memories from other camping trips:

-My brother falling off the shoulders of this guy (who's relationship to us would just be confusing :)) causing him to lose his beloved sunglasses
-Then my brother calling him his hero for the rest of the trip
-BACKGAMMON!!!!! WooHoo
-Everything in the tent getting wet because it was touching the tent when it rained
-My Dad killing a squirrel by throwing an apple at it (no he did not mean to kill the squirrel)
-waking up to snow in the summer
-FISHING!!! lots of fishing
-coming home once and having to pull over because the rain and hail were so bad; cars were hydroplaning and visibility was pretty much zero

Fun times!! Fun times!!!

Thanks to Mama Kat for great prompts.

PYHO-????

2010-07-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking and thinking today about what I could write about but nothin'. I really want to write something because I feel so disconnected from the blog world that so warmly received me 3 months ago. This wonderful meme by Shell was probably the biggest persuasion for me to start my blog and I would like to thank her for that.

I have read so many wonderful PYHO posts that I can relate to so much. Why can't I write that eloquent when I'm feeling down? I want people to relate to me to. I need support just like anyone else. But I feel as if if I don't have ideas for writing and only post once in a while that I'm left in the dust. I've felt that too much in my life and I don't wanna feel that way at 32 for goodness sake!!! I know I need to participate in things and share myself if I want reciprocity so I don't wanna sound selfish or anything. I have done that and many times got nothing in return so it's kinda hard to put your heart out there.

I am down.
I feel like we're in a rut.
The economy is big time kickin' our butts.
We need a change. a BIG change.
We need to find us again.
I want to be stronger for my kids.
I don't want my kids to have an insecure mom.
I don't want my kids to be insecure.
I want to be able to be assertive for my kids.
I want to be able to be assertive for me.
I hate mom guilt. but I don't know how not to feel it?
I want to be nicer to my kids.
I want to cherish this time of innocence with them.
I. Just. Want to be Happy.

Mommy and Me-Pioneer Day

2010-07-26T06:48:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Pioneer day (July 24th) is a pretty big deal here. Almost as big as the 4th. It commemorates the date that the pioneers settled this valley. It is hard to believe that so long ago this beautiful valley was once a dry, inhospitable desert. It is amazing what these pioneers accomplished and we are truly blessed to be living in such a beautifully diverse state. They literally walked across most of the entire United States forging through mountains, valleys, and streams in all kinds of weather. It was truly a miracle.

Butterflies

2010-07-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

My kids adore bugs!! What kid doesn't? They would absolutely love this butterfly kit giveaway at Serendipity Mommy from Insect Lore. This is such a cool website! If your kids are into bugs they have tons of fun items and activities and anything bug related!!

Mommy FAIL

2010-07-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

When my son was first born the very first night we brought him home we tried to have him in our room like good first parents right? Ya well that lasted about 20 min.....before I pushed his bassinett into his own room. (details are a little blurry so they might be off a tad here) After about the first couple of times I got up my husband barked I'm never gonna get sleep which of course being a new mom and all hormonal almost made me cry so instead of yelling ya you try getting up every hour and latch a vice grip on your nipple for 30 min. and see how you like it! I calmly took my pillow and went into baby's room to sleep on the spare mattress. Well said baby was not sleeping much either and was very fussy or hungry or I don't know. You know why I don't know? Cause I physically could not get myself up! Oh ya! I heard him but couldn't make myself open my eyes! Poor little man! He coulda been hungry or just scared and wanted to be held and comforted.
Oh I hope God wasn't havin' second thoughts.

MOM FAIL!

I got the jealousies...

2010-07-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

Bonus points if anyone knows where that comes from :)

...of my kids? Bad mom!

Granpa and Nana Barb and Brother I mean Uncle Drew took Ethan and Aria up to Lava Hot Springs for a couple days while Mom and Dad could chill out here with only little Angel.
So this morning when they left as soon as the door shut something felt different! Two whole days of peace!! I should be jumping for joy right? Instead I just don't know what to do with myself? It really feels weird. I mean I have all this time to myself where I could do this or this or that but part of me just wants to go outside and sit on the kids swing and have a pity party. My kids are 6 and 4 and they have never spent one night away from me. With their outgoing personalities I know they'll have a fabulous time and probably won't even miss mom but mom will miss them and will miss seeing their happy faces swimming in the pool and doing all the fun things they will. :( boo hoo Ok really I'm not THAT selfish....I am glad they're gonna have this fun experience. But what do I do???
Well like a good mom I'll clean their beds and sheets and room and build a new fort for them downstairs. Hmmmm ya....that only takes so much time....What now? Maybe I'll go oon my eliptical machine (which is sadly being neglected) and jam with MJ (ya don't laugh) Maybe a little scrapbooking? Too bad we don't have anymore Lost to watch right now or we could have a Lost night. :) (the sixth season isn't out on NetFlix yet! Im lost without my LOST....lol *snort*)

How do you spend your "me" time without the kids?

Fiber and Lip Gloss

2010-07-20T07:47:00.001-07:00

Who has kids who get the proper amount of fiber in their diet? I'd sure like to know that mom's secret. Well if you're like me your kids don't! So these fiber gummies would be a great way for kids to up the fiber in their tummies. If you wanna enter for a free bottle check out Serendipity Mommy

Candace has also hooked up with SoftLips and they are generously giving one of her readers an awesome softlips pkg. of their new "PURE" line on products. (I kinda feel like I sound like a commercial here) Check it out: HERE!

Win a Savvycents Wallet with Menopausal New Mom!

2010-07-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

Menopausal New Mom is having an awesome giveaway for TWO fabulous Savvycents wallets! These wallets are a great way to organize all your cards, cash (if you have it), loose change, pictures, whatever! And if you don't wanna carry a purse just carry your cool looking wallet!

Bob the Builder!

2010-07-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

My kids are crazy for Bob the Builder! Hey who wouldn't love a short pudy adorable fellow in a tool belt. It teaches good lessons too like working together. Frugal Mom knows Best is having a giveaway for a Bob the Builder DVD! Don't enter cause I want it! :)

PYHO-don't get your hopes up!

2010-07-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Ya well it's pretty hard to regulate your emotions…..especially if you're a woman!

My husband has been unemployed for 6 months now and it sucks big time! Recently he's had this amazing job come possibility come up in Idaho Falls of all places. Who would want to move to Idaho Falls you ask? Well yes us. We have actually been up there once for an overnight trip…..what made me think of going up there?.....I don't know?......maybe it was foreshadowing……."insert creepy music". No seriously it was a beautiful area and we have always wanted to move somewhere smaller and I even actually proposed the idea of living there someday. Soooo…back to the job.
I've researched a bit about it and asked some questions to others who work there and honestly the company sounds too good to be true. But Tylaine…..don't go getting' your hopes up! Ya ya well it's pretty hard when it's something you really want. My head certainly understand that this could very well be another disappointment in our lives but we all know women's heads do not rule the game, right?
So where is this going? I dunno. We just really need something right now. I feel like we are in a rut and we need a change, BIG change and I'm hoping this is it!

I am Mommy of the Year because I'm NOT Mommy of the Year

2010-07-12T17:48:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you I am soooo Not mom of the Year:

A day in the Life of "Not" mom of the year (a.k.a. me)

I wake up in the morning at 6:28 and think to myself "hmmm I could either sleep for an extra 20 min. before the kids get up; oh but I really should get up and shower before all the chaos begins so I can devote all my energy to my darling rugrats; nope I'll go for the sleep….(two more min. of self debate)….oh dang the kids are already up! There goes either choice". Now the Mom of the Year would have no quams about what to do and would just jump out of bed, quickly shower, doll herself up and have warm pancakes ready and waiting for the kids when they got up. Cold cereal is our breakfast of choice.
After a few hours of our beloved Netflix (oh what we do without you!) and the totally awesome care bears (and of course Mom of the Year would never let her kids watch anything but the most educational programs for only 30 min. everyday) Ethan and Aria have a yummy lunch of "make-your-own-pizza" (let me assure you this is not the norm; microwaved hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, and dinosaur chicken are a MUST in our house) while Emma downs her store bought, processed lunch of chicken and pasta and mom gets to enjoy her leftover spaghetti standing in the kitchen. Now the Mom of the Year would be able to feed all three kids at the same time while sitting down herself to a wonderful homemade lunch and would never feed her 18 month old anything but homemade lunches made from organic ingredients.
Ethan (my oldest) has been wanting to make a tent/fort for about a week now and has been put off by mom for somethin' or other. No more excuses, here we go. When the tent is done mom crawls inside and has a rest from all the laborious work while the kids run around and make a mess in the kitchen from eating muffins on the counter (at least Emma is accounted for :)). Now mom of the year would never get tired during the day and would spend hour upon hour playing with her kids to their hearts content.
"Ok what ya wanna do now kids, mom is gonna write a blogpost" Ethan and Aria got into Dad's office downstairs (which is supposed to be locked but mom forgot and left it open) and brought up their playdough. Now Mom of the Year would ofcourse be actively playing with the kids and not getting a little short at the "mommy look at this's" every 2 seconds but would joyfully relish all their wonderful playdough creations.
The witching hour is nigh and the kids are going crazy. I'm thinking to myself "Danny you better get home soon!" while I throw a stroganoff into the oven for dinner. (at least we have some good home cooked meals thanks to my mom and Stouffers) But I must admit it's not that bad, I do actually cook once in a while. :)
Now Mom of the Year would never get the least bit irritated with her kids and would have fun, educational craft activities ready to keep the kids busy while she prepares her 4 course meal for her husband which will be on the table as soon as he walks in the door. They eat like this every night with the kids sitting properly at the table using their utensils and having perfect manners (certainly not throwing food or the 18 month old eating on the table since the chairs are being used for previously said tent)
After dinner it's a free for all. Kids play some more in the tent while mom and dad try to have some uninterrupted conversation about the day. They weren't outside today so we'll skip bath tonight and just put em' in bed early. Peace and quiet. Now Mom of the Year would never let her kids have a free for all but always have structured fun and safe playtime (with of course mom crawling on her knees having "fun" with the kids) Bath would never be skipped. Teeth brushing would never be skipped. And 20 minutes of educational reading before bed would never be skipped. She would not let out a sigh of relief either when the kids were in bed and quiet because she would have no stress to get rid of. :)
Mom of the Year would also never feel mom guilt (because ofcourse there's nothing she does wrong with the kids)
Mom of the Year would never judge another mom or herself (because she is perfect and ofcourse has the sweetest and most understanding heart)

But I'll let ya in on a little secret……Mom of the Year does not exist! And we're ALL "NOT" Moms of the year! Yep every one of us. Every mom that loves their kids more than the sun an moon an stars (my saying with my "NOT" mom of the year) and would stick a safety pin in the eye for them. Every mom that puts their happiness and fun above that of being a perfect chef and keeping the house spotless. Every mom that has stepped on legos and tinkertoys multiple times, or had a baby head butt them in the nose and never complained about the bruises all over her feet or her nose bleed. Every mom that has been thrown up on, peed on, pooped on and simply gone and changed like it was no big deal. Every mom that believes in letting kids be kids; wear their pj.s in public and dress themselves in ridiculous clothes because this is the only time in their life they can pull this off; because they will grow up far too fast. Every mom that her heart breaks when her children are sick and there's nothing she can do but would take it upon herself in a second if she could. Every mom that sacrifices things for her kids that only another mom could understand. Every mom that is a "NOT" mom of the Year.

Mommy and Me Monday

2010-07-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn

Thanks to Krystyn for this fun meme that lets moms get precious memories with her babies. :)

Me and my pasi girl!

Friday Confessional

2010-07-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

-Today Sucks!

-My mom who visited for a week went home today

-It was a wonderful visit (mostly)

-We did some great shopping (I wish we had money though :))

-Now she's gone and it sucks

-I feel like I'm 13 crying for my mommy

-What's the deal!?

-Arn't you supposed to grow up at 32 with three kids of your own

-I know how hard it is for her to leave the grandkids and that sucks even more

-I know she has to go home to a job she doesn't like (ya who wants to be working at 62) and that sucks

-I already miss her

Mommy and Me Monday

2010-07-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all kids look forward to July4th and my kids are no exception. They talk about it all year long. Looking forward to the pool (which is like a bath because we hook it up to the faucet and use hot water), and the bbq, and eating junk food and ofcourse the fireworks!

Mommy and Me and Mono Monday

2010-06-28T05:54:00.000-07:00

This week's theme is sun protection so I snapped a piture of us with our shades on in the shade. We have quite a bit of shade in our backyard so we try to play out there early or late in the day when there's a lot of shade (not that that always happens) My kids actually don't usually wear their shades and Aria only occassionaly wears her hat and Emma won't wear one at all so we're pretty careful about putting the sunscreen on. Because Emma won't wear her hat I actually put sunscreen in her hair because it's so fair and I don't want her head to get burned!

This last challenge is awe and I think this picture needs no words

Summer giveways

2010-06-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Tammy at Tammy's Two Cents has some great summer giveaways going on right now. Check em out!!

One is a designer summer beach bag that would be perfect for everything from going to the pool, to the library or even to church!

Kids need a lot of fiber these days and unless your kid is like a super healthy eater then they probably don't get enough fiber. Pedia lax fiber gummies would be perfect! I'm definately gonna try these for my kids!

The last one that I so so so want to win is the softlips giveway. This awesome package includes lip gloss, lip butter, lip balm and a neat lip polisher!

To check out these giveaways and more go to Tammy's Two Cents and check out her Summer Essentials!

Sticks and Stones....

2010-06-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

may break my bones and names will....hurt worse!!

I'm comin' in kinda late today cause I haven't really posted in a while and wasn't going to but I read Ian's PYHO postand was kinda inspired with an idea (isn't it awesome how blogging can do that) So thanks Ian for the idea

.

Why do kids have to be so mean? When I was going through middle and high school I had some ignorant comments (and maybe moreso looks) to me cause I was a little different. Fitting in is sooooo important in those years and if you're different in anyway, you get picked on or rude comments or just ignorance. It's not even about looks either. Pretty people get picked on...because maybe they're shy or have low selfesteem. Maybe it's not that maybe they're poor and don't have designer clothes. I've seen both and looking back it's so incredibly immature and hurtful. Did these people have such low self esteem themselves that they needed to belittle others for being different. Comments hurt and even after 18+ yrs. I can still remember how I felt. Ofcourse I don't give any credence to them now but back then being told you're stupid by a peer weighs more on you than if your mom tells you 100 times how smart you are.

I guess my question is why are the parents not teaching these kids better? Yes I know some kids come from wonderful homes and are taught good things and are just plain bad apples; but the majority of kids who tease have no idea how it affects someone else and need to be taught that. Please don't let your kids grow up to be meanies. Teach your children that it's wrong. Maybe some of these meanies would have changed their behaviour had they been taught that it hurts. Sometimes it's not even a matter of meanness but a matter of ignorance.

Personalized Kids Gifts!

2010-06-22T17:25:00.000-07:00

Frecklebox is a company that has awesome personalized gifts for kids. They have lunchboxes, clipboards, puzzles and my fave personlized books. J at Boobies, Babies and A Blog is having a great giveaway for 5 personalized coloring books. What could be better then winning something that will keep the kids occupied for an hour downstairs or better yet keep them quiet in church!

Mommy and "Daddy" Monday

2010-06-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

For this week's Mommy picture in honour of Father's Day I thought I'd post a pic. of me and my "BIG" baby :)

Around my neighborhood

2010-06-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

I've been such a downer lately I really have nothing to write about and right now I really don't feel like trying. So I've just been sittin' back reading all your fabulous blogs!!

I've been wanting to take my camera out in the morning and take some pictures but am just always too lazy (oh and the three kids kinda puts the kybosh on some things :)) Anyways this morning while my little man was watching his Thomas and the others weren't up yet I decided to make my escape! (don't worry the hubby was home) I'm glad I have a few pictures of the neighborhood because God willing we won't be here forever (although right now things don't look to hopeful) and when we do leave I know I'll leave a piece of my heart behind (as I think you always do when you leave somewhere you've lived and made memories) This house was where my first three kids were born and now it's also the house where Ethan goes to his first school and probably Aria too next year (never thought we'd be here this long)
I kinda wish I had done this around my neighborhood in Edmonton where I grew up. Although I have an image in my head and will never forget the memories it would be kinda nice to have pictures, ya know?
Welcome to my neighborhood...

The school where the kids go (about a block away) and the park where we spend many hours in the mornings before it gets too hot!!

Oh my gosh there's a pioneer ghost in the wheel!

I just LOVE all the trees in our area!

Don't we have the best looking fire hydrants :)

Our little rental with the crappy paint job and the knocked out screen from our crazy kids and the beat up tarus in the garage and the dead tree in the backyard (gotta love it)

Before I was a mom...

2010-06-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

Joining up with Mama Kat's Workshop
She has such great prompts!

Before I was a mom...I could be selfish whenever I wanted
Before I was a mom...I never got so frustrated in my life!!!
Before I was a mom...I could be spontaneous
Before I was a mom...I didn't have to worry about when I went in the pool cause my boobs might leak if I hadn't fed my baby
Before I was a mom...I didn't have to worry about whether or not what I wore was gonna work for breastfeeding
Before I was a mom...Getting up at 7 was early not sleeping in
Before I was a mom...I never dreamed how scattalogical I would be (who does?)
Before I was a mom...I never got excited over poo in the toilet, I never laughed at baby talk, I never new how much joy could be found in the simplest things of life
Before I was a mom...I never wiped someone else's butt (that would be inappropriate), never picked someone else's nose (also inappropriate) especially with your bare hand!!, and never spit on someone's hair to keep it down

Before I was a mom...I had a sense of modesty, I used to care if the bathroom door was shut
Before I was a mom...I didn't make a fool of myself (at least in public)
Before I was a mom...I never really knew there would be people that really needed me

But also...

Before I was a mom...I never really understood how much my mom loves me
Before I was a mom...I never understood how you can completely and totally love someone at first sight
Before I was a mom...I never understood how your heart can ache from just watching someone and thinking how much you love them
Before I was a mom...I didn't have as much appreciation for other kids knowing how much their moms love them
Before I was a mom...I was never so completely and totally in love with someone

PYHO-I feel Old

2010-06-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Shell for her wonderful meme PHYO! I love reading about other people's hearts and lives. (and it gives me an outlet for all my whining :))

disclaimer: This post is really disjointed and depressing and is spur of the moment ranting and subject to change in the next hour

Dang I shouldn't feel like this? Last night I woke up and I felt weighed down. I've felt weighed down mentally many times before but I actually felt a little physically weighed down. My neck really hurt cause I had fallen asleep on my back with a hoodie underneath my neck so it was crooked. My joints are sore from pushing my kids on a walk yesterday (what the crap??) I used to push 100 lbs. in that stroller almost everyday and be fine? Maybe it's more, I don't know. Maybe I'm too hard on my knees, always wiping the floor.

But much more than physical I feel mentally weighed down. I'm not happy, not really. I've heard many people say happiness is a choice. Well sure I can put on the happy face for my kids and if I try really hard, my husband; but the feeling most of the time is not behind it. Well I just have to keep on doing it and lo and behold I will really feel it. I don't know if I buy it. I can be happy, there have been moments so why is it so hard to keep that going? Sometimes I feel like I'm just swimming and the days are passing me by. Boy am I a flake!! If I could just listen to myself. I know what I need to do, I'm good at self talk....but I can also be extremely stubborn.

I watch the Bachorlette (ya I know it's corny) but I don't think I can anymore. Last Bachelor I was kinda sad when it was over cause in a way I felt I was living vicariously through it. The only romance in my life. But the bachorlette seems like just a reminder of what I couldof had and don't. Oh how awful is that. I feel so awful just typing those words. Ya ya I know it's not real life or even close too.....I'll beat myself up later.

Mommy and me/Mono Monday

2010-06-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn

This picture was actually taken last summer but it is one of my favs. We were at a temple open house and it was so much fun taking the whole family and showing them the beauty of the building. Emma was an absolute angel. She just looked at everything, it was like she was in awe. Ofcourse for Ethan and Aria the highlight was the cookies at the end. I seem to remember hearing a lot of "Are we done yet"?'s :)

This week's theme is happy and although I'm certainly not the best example and continuously fall short I know that living God's word for us will bring us true happiness.

Happiness is also seeing the world through children eyes

Bummer!!!

2010-06-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

David Archuleta spoke today at our church conference and I missed it! Now I do go to church every sunday but for this conference they have an adult session sat. night and then the sun. one. So being as it is so much easier to go without kids and you can actually pay attention Danny and I just go to one each. I went last night :( (Not that it wasn't still great :))
Danny said that during the concluding talk the President asked that noone ask for audigraphs from any of the speakers after. Ya....I'm sure he wasn't talking about David cause that kind of announcement is so frequently heard. It's kinda sad that he would have to mention something like that at a church service but you know if he didn't there'd probably be girls lining up in the foyer afterward. He probably still got acosted in the parking lot.
Well I guess you don't go to church because a famous person is speaking, right? Gotta say somethin' to make me feel better. :)

Friday Confessional

2010-06-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

It's Confession Time! Come on you know you want to :)

-Oh my little man is growing up; he's done K

-I told him about 1st gr. and how it's all day and he's gonna learn a lot blah blah blah

-his response : "Do I get to eat lunch there?" (all wide eyed) "Yes you do" "Goodie!"

-so at least he's looking forward to something

-I'm thinkin I'm just gonna buy the school lunches for him; he'd probably end up eating better

-Does that make me a lazy momma?

-I think I'm too late to put my daughter in preschool? I hope not

-It would be so good for her: send good vibes please

-I've written two opinionated posts lately and it feels good to get my voice out there

-Some people are scared to be too opinionated for fear of losing bloggers

-If you can't be totally you on your blog where can you be?

-I've been "not" myself too often (still do) so being able to be myself on my blog has been great

-I might do it more often

-I watched Ben Stein's Expelled last night: very interesting

-good watch if you're not pro-evolution; if you are you'd probably just get ticked :)

-one of the funniest lines from one of the super pro-evolution science geeks was that he said Noah's Ark and thinking that full grown animals came over on an ark would insult the intelligence of children: and yet he believe without a shodow of a doubt that every living thing on earth came from a single celled organism! LOL ya that's rich

-.....and I'm feelin'....FRUMPY

Obesity

2010-06-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by
Mama Kat's writer's workshop. To read all the great prompts head on over.

I recently wrote a post about healthcare so for those who read it I won't repeat it here. Another issue I feel strongly about is childhood obesity. I know it says current event which this isn't but it definately is a current issue.

It makes my blood boil when I see obese and overweight children which is far too common in our society. Do children buy the groceries? Do children drive themselves out to eat? Do children put these dang vending machines in schools? Who are the responsible ones?
These are our children and we're slowing taking away their good health by making bad choices for them.
Now I don't profeses to know a lot about this issue. I've never had weight problems, my kids are anything but overweight so please don't flame me for my ignorance. I understand that some have genetic predispositions to weight problems and I know there are many people out there struggling with this issues and that do make healthy and good choices and still struggle. I applaud you.
I'm talking about the family where the kids are eating fast food 3 days a week and junk food and chocolate bars replace all fruit and vegetables. I guess what I'm saying is I get so mad when I see an obese child because they are NOT the ones making the food choices. I'm sure we've all seen the Dr. Phil or Oprah or whoever shows about obese children and the enabling parents. I feel for these parents because I can understand how hard it is to say no to a begging crying child but for goodness sake these parents are slowly killing their children for... love???
Children will eat if they are hungry so ofcourse they are going to grab a bag of chips or whatever after school if it is there but if there is only fruit on the table??? Oh yes they will eat it (and probably enjoy it a lot more that a bag of chips) I'm not saying don't enjoy a treat once in a while and I'm certainly not the best example. My kids could certainly stand to eat healthier but I do try. Many parents nowadays are just too apathetic. Too busy.
Food is such a hugs part of our lives. There are other issues facing youth today that would most likely improve with an improved diet.
I'm not the best with words and wish I could write my opinions more eloquently but this is something I feel pretty strongly about but I'm in no way saying I know much about the issue or I'm not open to change of thinking. JMHO :)

Channellock giveaway @ Tammy'sTwoCents

2010-05-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

Miraculously in the past 3 years my husband's gone from not wanting to do anything around the house to mr. fix it! This set of pliers from Channellock that Tammy @ Tammy's Two Cents is giving away would be a perfect father's day gift for any fix it husband or brother or even you!!

Mommy and Me/Mono Monday

2010-05-31T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn
This past wed. was my little Aria's birthday and she got her yellow "hupe a loop"
Probably not big enough for two people though. :)

Alysha at Supermom went and changed the subject for this week and I never checked it so I just went with the original. Motherly Love or Mothering (can't remember)

I like the holding hands one, but the other two didn't turn out quite like I wanted. Nice concept though right? :)

For me??

2010-05-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well gee I received another award (I really can't believe it my blog is so new) from two people! Thankyou so much to Glamazon and DysFUNctional Mom!

So for this award I'm supposed to list 7 things about me and then of course pass it on to some other awesome blogs that you've recently found :)

1. I absolutely LOVE the smell of coffee although I do not drink it

2. I'm a food picker….I pick off my husband and children's plates….I will also eat your pizza crusts. Funny little story: When me husband came up to Alberta the first time to see me we went out for pizza and I ate his pizza crusts. He later told me that he was surprised I did that cause we hardly knew eachother and he knew I kinda liked him cause he thought it was "forward" of me. Crazy Yank!!!

3. I flew 1300 miles to get my fiancée visa and forgot my birth certificate but they still issued it….something that would probably never happen now….they would of probably made me mail it or even come back

4. I have a Wellar nose. Has a little crook in it.

5. I have a bad habit of smelling my fingers and when I was flexible enough sometimes I got a whiff of my toes (what was I thinking!!)

6. When we were first married one night my husband got up to do his business and I shot up and exclaimed loudly "I'm your wife!!!" and dropped back asleep.

7. Sometimes I really can't believe I'm THE mom because I am such a baby and a mama's girl.

I pass this on to:

Simoney @ GreatFun4Kids
Kristin @ Adventures of a Betty Crocker Wannabee
Krystyn @ Really, Are you Serious?
Tammy @ Tammy's Two Cents
Sammy @ Ridiculously Random
Anastasia @ Sweetbutterbliss!

(there really are so many more but I'm gettin tired of doing this link thingy and well....I'm just kinda lazy but if I didn't mention you please know you're all AWESOME!!)

Whew! That was tough (the naming things not passing it on :)) Now for the easier one. Lana @ tagged me and I get to list 5 things that make me grumpy.

1. When my husband plays his Xbox 360 (namely Modern Warfare!!!!) Can't even tell you!

2. Messes! (the house doesn't have to be clean per say just picked up with the look of clean)

3. Old people givin' me the stink eye when my unruly kids raise heck in church

4. Wasting time (eg. driving 30 min. to a place only to find out they are closed or looking 30 min. in a store only to find out you have to go somewhere else)

5. Disappointing people (including myself)

I want to hear what makes YOU grumpy!

Nikki @ My Fantabulous Life
Amy @ The Fourth Frog Blog
Kerri @ Kerri's Klutter

Friday Confessional

2010-05-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's time to confess with Glamazon. Go ahead….what are your dirty secrets? (maybe I shouldn't take that so literally???)

I confess:

-I got a little ticked at my son for unplugging the deepfreeze so that everything spoiled
…..come on you're six now!

-I wonder when the day will come when I won't think 28 bucks for shoes is expensive
…….ya I know I'm cheap! Born of necessity folks 

-I am more than a little ticked that my four year old is still crappin' in her pants
…….any suggestions PLEASE!!!!

-I am super ticked at this sucky economy

-I am mundo ticked at this crapola healthcare the US has
…..a friggin' extraction costs 250 bucks!!!

-I need someone to slap some sense into me cause I am too ticked!!
….."Count your blessings…..count them one two three….."

-I ate three donuts in one day cause my super cute "mature" neighbor always gives us baked stuff on Fridays……this week it was wed. (I swear she's trying to make me fat)

-I've said swhite a lot this week
…..yes that's the actual word I use (you should know by now I'm a prude)

-Glamazon thinks I'm funny *snort*
…….I'm honored *snort*

PYHO

2010-05-26T05:34:00.000-07:00

First of I wanna say Happy 4th birthday to my precious Aria. You know that movie Angels and Demons….lol I think of my Aria :)
I love you more than the sun an moon an stars (as my mom and I always say to eachother) I love that you have a sing songy cute as all get out voice that melts your heart and fits your name perfectly. I love your incredible imagination. I love how you are so affectionate and give me so much love all the time. I love how you and your brother have eachothers backs (hope this continues :)) I love how you call him Esan. I love how you want to share everything with him. I love how you love everyone. I love how you get super excited over the littlest thing. I just love you.

My Dearest Children,

Words could never be adequate to describe a mother's love for her children. You are truly angels sent to my care from a loving Heavenly Father. I am entrusted with your care. What an incredible honor. One that I could never fully live up to. You deserve the world.

Please forgive me for not being the mother you deserve. Forgive me for not always talking as kindly to you as I should. Forgive me for getting frustrated with you and expecting you to act like an adult. Forgive me for not giving you more of myself. Forgive me for not cherishing every single moment I am blessed to have such a beautiful, healthy child. Forgive me for I don't know if I can forgive myself.

I love you with all my heart and more my precious angels and I will never stop trying to be better for you.

Eternally lovingly
Your Mother

I AM Pissed!!!!!

2010-05-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

I am sure there's a rant meme somewhere but I need to rant....

Ya ok you know I am mad when I use that word cause I NEVER use that word....I don't even really like it (not that I mind when other people use it so don't go gettin offended and thinkin I'm a major prude {which I am but not a judgemental one :)}) Anyways I am so flamin' hot mad right now my fingers can't even move fast enough!
Lately I've been thinkin' a lot about healthcare and how the US healthcare system IMO is seriously messed up! I never really thought much about it being from Canada and never having to worry about bills and stuff. Man if I went through what I did and we lived down here!...don't even go there!
About a year ago I had to have my tooth extracted because a dang root canal was 900 bucks!.........WITH insurance!!! What the crap! I was so upset that I had to lose a precious part of my body cause of greed. Plain old greed!!
Now my husband is sitting in the same chair at this very minute having his precious tooth yanked! (well his isn't as precious as mine right :))
My aunt who lives in Alberta comes down here (to the states) quite often and well this last time she had a bowel rupture and had to have surgery and after weeks here was lifeflighted back to Canada. You know what it cost her.......Guess.....what was that....NOTHING!!!....did you hear me? NOTHING!!
Now how is it that a mother who has a 16 month old with cancer has to worry about paying the bills. Dang it people her daughter's health is her number 1 priority and she has to worry about flippin' bills??? What is wrong with that? Seriously messed up!
When I had Aria we had to shell out 2000 bucks (of my dad's money :) Thanks dad) and that's only if we payed within 10 days....if not then it probably woulda been 5743 bucks and 22 cents! When I had Emma luckily we were on gracious medicaid who paid the bill for none only then the greatest miracle on earth! but I guess when I had Ethan I hadn't been Americanized enough to deserve their money!
Now I'm certainly not comparing teeth problems to having cancer or any other illness.
But it's still health. And what is wrong when people put money ahead of someone's health or life even?

......and that is why I am Peed right now

Comment Love Letters

2010-05-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

If you haven't join in Comment Love Letters at Kerri Klutter, You should It's kinda fun! Especially this week cause she is donating 1$ to be matched by Adrienne, to Mission Monkey. So please contribute!

Dear Tylaine,

Glad you had some good weather. I'm still waiting for ours. They are precious memories. Aww..Little weed helpers…so cute! That is real motherhood. Great pictures and such cuties. :)

Don't you dare stop writing! :) I look at my blog a little like therapy. Some days, it might be full of hope and excitement, and others, not so happy things. But, it's all real. Our blogs are how we met. I wish I had a magic wand. You know, it's easy sometimes when we see the inspiring stories of others to remember that our own stories have value and meaning, too. Nor should you discredit your negative and down feelings just because you feel that others have it harder. If we wanted a fake reality, we'd watch reality television. The reality is sometimes we're down. Sometimes we want to run away from our kids. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we burn the supper. Sometimes we order a pizza because we don't want to do the dishes. Sometimes we're happy. Sometimes we're silly. It just is. :) So many of us have gone through the same things and it's so good to hear that we aren't alone. Once I started blogging about the fun and funny things that were going on around me, I started to notice them more often. The more we look for the good, the more easily we can see it in our lives. People are not perfect and if it seems too good to be true, then it must be.

And, what—you don't just walk around naked? Weird! He he! I don't take anything personally. I don't even know what you said! LOL This blog world rocks.

Sniff, sniff I miss UT! I'm excited to hear that there are things to do that won't break the bank. But from here, paying for the 3300 mi round trip might be rather onerous. Cheers!

Your wonderful readers

Yee-haww!

2010-05-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn

Last week Ethan had his western program at school. It was so cute to see all those litte cowboys and cowgirls singing cute songs and squaredancing on the stage. Of course mom didn't think to take a picture of her and her little cowboy on the cute stage so I got one when we got home.

Day sans Kids!

2010-05-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

Today I had the pleasure of going downtown with a couple of ladies I know from church. We went out for lunch at a cafeteria style restaurant (old home which was really cozy but unfortunately drafty...oh wait this is me I think everywhere is drafty) So we had a nice lunch and then trekked over to our little theater where we saw the BYU young ambassadors (amazing!) Seriously if you live in SLC or even in Utah and have not seen them (or any of the BYU companies) you're missing out. They're wicked awesome. So is the ballroom dance and the living legends. Basically anything they do :)
This is what I just LOVE about Utah! Nowhere on earth can you get entertainment of the kind you can find here for 8$ or free. It's kinda insane actually.
I've been lucky enough to attend the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Program in the massive Conference Centre (seating is 20000 so it is HUGE!) and wow! I mean WOW!
This is seriously incredible entertainment for FREE!! Awwwwesome. I Love it!!!

Mission Monkey and Prayers for Daffy

2010-05-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Today is worldwide Mission Monkey Day! but before we get to that another blogger friend is going through a nightmare of her own. href="http://batcrapcrazy.blogspot.com/">Daffy and her family are saying goodbye to the sister they once knew. Daffy's sister came out of a long surgery yesterday with no neurological activity at all. Please pray for her, Daffy and her family and especially her 5 year old son. I can't even image how hard it is for him.

and now for Mission Monkey........

I still feel so new to this blog world but I truly have never felt as much a part of something. It is so wonderful how all these bloggers band together when someone is going through a crisis. I do not know Michelle or Monkey but my heart goes out to them. This is reality folks and to not support this because "it would take away from the fun" is selfish. The happy-go-lucky blog world is great but these are also REAL people with REAL lives.

TodayI am participating in what's known around the world as Mission Monkey day! What is Mission Monkey you ask? Well, there's this blogger friend of ours known as Pixie Momma, aka Michelle. Michelle has a little girl, or Monkey as she's known by who was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. To learn more about it, click here. Monkey is a sweet little 16 month old girl. She doesn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

But the good news is that Monkey only has Stage 1 (low risk). The bad news is the medical bills are mounting and the Physical Therapy (starts today) isn't covered by insurance. Michelle is using the donated money to offset medical bills. She will donate and unused portion to another family dealing with the same issue.

This is why the blogging universe is banning together like never before to rally around Michelle and Monkey to provide support. In addition to further entice you to lend your hand, and donate to the cause, we have over 50 items that have been donated. Many bloggers are hosting these fabulous giveaways and all you need to win one of these items is just one raffle ticket. There's tons of wonderful stuff. For more info. head on over to Ians, he's done a super awesome job of putting this whole thing together.

Monkey could be anyone of our kids. How grateful would you be to someone who helped you in a situation like this??

Click on monkey to donate...please help!

Comment-love Love

2010-05-20T17:17:00.000-07:00

The wonderful Tiffany over at My crazy Kind of Wonderful honored me with this lovely award! Thanks so much Tiffany. Her blog is awaesome if you haven't checked it out.

(Is that not the cutest award pic.!)

Ok so for this award I gotta answer these narcisisstic questions and then pass on this lovely award. :) So here goes:

1.)Why do you blog?
Because a shrink is too expensive! and I've never felt a part of something like blogging....it's nice to know there's others out there with the same feelings, insecurities, irrationality, whateva!
2.) What are your three best memories?
birth of Ethan, Aria and Emma
3.) If you had to change your real name, what would you change it to?
Lola
4.) What are 5 things you can't live without?
food and water (duh), my family, my computer, clothes (ya I'd prefer not to go around naked)
5.) What are the the 4 best books you have ever read?
Harry Potter, Twilight, The Host, some book I read about a girl who had to go to a hospital for lepers in like the 1800s (I'm not much of a reader as you can tell :))
6.) Tell me something unique & interesting about yourself?
I can't wait to go on a humanitarian vacation with my family and also serve a mission with my husband
7.) What do you love about yourself?
My sincerity and loyalty
8.) What is the best movie ever made?
It's a Wonderful Life (ya that's a good one :))
9.) If you have a Freaky Friday experience who would you want to trade places with and why?
My Aria, I would like to know how her crazy mind works
10.) What's the best part about being a woman?
Being a mother and experiencing the miracle of making a child (dang your good Tiffany!)

and I pass this award on to:

Laura @ The purseblogger
Jamie @ Little Bishop Chronicles
Brittney @ Unexpected Surprises

PYHO-thankyou

2010-05-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love Shell's PHYO Meme but I really wasn't gonna post anything today. I actually thought of giving up on this whole blog thing cause I hate always being so negative and I don't wanna drive ppl away with that. But I need it for me. I felt super down yesterday (ya just hear the violins) It is what it is....just one of my many pity parties lately (ya as in the past 3 years) I felt like the most ungrateful person in the world.
After reading many of the fabulous PHYO posts by so many others and what these amazing women have struggled with and overcome is just inspiring. Seriously if you have not read them DO! It's almost like they were written just for me. I realize that my little problems in my little world are so insignificant compared to what others have gone through. I am so incredibly blessed and I need to stop being a baby and just be grateful for what I have. I don't say that at all in a haha my life is better than yours kinda way. (I don't even like typing those words) I say it in a I truly admire you for your strength and courage and being a wonderful example kinda way. (and thankyou for knocking my humility level up a notch)
I'm tired of having regrets. I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting away the days. I'm tired of being dissapointed in myself. I know I'm capable of so much more. So why stay in this routine? Cause it's comfortable and change is dang hard! I feel like such a flake cause I know I've talked like this before but I really need to do something. I gotta stop being so immature and act my age. You know you're immature when your 4 year old tells you to not get so frustrated or mad or to stop yelling or that it's gonna be ok when you're breaking down crying. This blog world is truly awesome and I'm so glad I finally got up the courage to start "my own" blog.
Like I've heard so many times. Happiness is a choice and I have to try harder and get out of my comfort zone (cause right now it's not a fun place to be which is kinda an oxymoron.....but so is the mind of a woman).
I just wanna give a big thanks to all you wonderful, amazing women who are so open and honest on your blogs. It truly is a blessing to know there are so many women out there that have the same, sometimes completely irrational, feelings as you do.

Comment-Love Letters for Monkey

2010-05-18T06:27:00.001-07:00

This is my first time doing comment-love letters with Kerri@ Kerri's Klutter and I must say it way kinda fun!

Dear Tylaine,

"this is sad…very sad only." Love the card. Happy Mother's Day!! You kinda look like the mom on I love you stinky face.

I whine a lot too, or so I'm told. I don't believe it though. My zit is getting smaller, ha ha! I love that you went to McDonald's in your wedding dress!!! My BIL FINALLY admitted that he met his current girlfriend online-but, hey, a lot of people meet that way. It was hard for awhile but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be! It's nice to hear a good 'hey I met this guy online' story :) Now, almost every year on our anniversary we head out to whatever town we are in to hit the Walmart! :) Guess that's why I married the boy next door. I'm thinking that's a pretty long way on a bus. Did you draw it? K <3 ya.

Oh my gosh, I think that is the best award ever! I love it. So funny! Money stuff is the WORST. It ain't right. Make Ian put guys, it would be so much more interesting  You are braver than I am. For a while I was having a lot of dreams about my teeth falling out. It scared the crap out of me. So I googled it..and guess what? It means you're stressed about money! Banks are the worst, right! And see, if you get to hell before me, just save me a good seat, yea?? Not even close to a rant, my dear. :)DOPES. Now that is an award worth putting on your side bar! Maybe that's why it's the root of all evil or something. I want to drop everything and go live on a mountain to get away from it all.

The title sucked me in. HA! The closets YOU have look gigantic in comparison to what they called "closets" in our home. Basically, they were doors that when opened revealed a wall about 2 inches away. And what a beautiful view of the mountains!! I could have flower boxes for a view like that!

Your Readers

Mommy and Me/Mono Monday

2010-05-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn

Saturday was gorgeous out so we decided to do some yard cleaning. I swept the patio and back stairwell while Ethan and Aria were my weed pickers and filled bucket after bucket with dandelions!

Motherhood is seeing the world and enjoying it anew through your children's eyes!

and finding inexpressionable joy in the simplest things

Why the people who built our house are morons

2010-05-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

1. NO Storage!!
-what people 50 years ago didn't buy extra toilet paper or stock up on canned goods
and what about decorations....well I guess that's why every house around here has a shed.....well I have one word for that...BUGS ewwwww!

2. Closets are waaay to close to the clothes

Maybe I'm strange but I hate the fact that my clothes are constantly rubbing against this ancient wood
....oh and same goes for the backs of the closets; I guess people were smaller back then??

3. A/C right next to the patio

Oh my Duh!!! When are people most liekly to bbq?...in the summer When are people most likely to have the A/C on?....in the summer put two and two together!

4. Smurf size Kitchen

-ya...I totally blame my lack of culinary skills and desire on just not wanting to be in here

5. Basement stairwells the size of a shoebox??? Huh?

-I am not even kidding when I say I spent at least 1/2 hr. cleaning this stupid thing this afternoon....I think I can still stand up straight??

Oh and the best of the best! (guess this "good job" goes to the brilliant lanscaper)
6. Willow trees in the front yard...are you kidding me!!

-ya pretty to look at but a royal pain in the butt!
tree suckers all over the yard, completely uneven lawn (I can seriously not even dig once in the flower bed the trees are planted in without hitting a ton of roots; hence no flowers), nasty roots bending and growin all up in the pipes=mundo plumbing problems [oh I feel sorry for the poor suckers that move here after us]

Ya...I can't wait to move
(no there's definately no plans to move in the future; I SO wish!!!!)

...but dang I'll miss the view

Friday "de"pressional

2010-05-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

-Dear Glamazon, I hope it's ok that I took the liberty of changing the awesome name of your meme but I thought it was fitting for the ocassion

-I feel kinda bleak right now

-my husband had a job in the bag but it was like a 2 ½-3 hr. drive a day; sorry the expense of gas wouldn't even make it really worth it and our poor beat down car could not take that kind of driving

-and if our flippin car goes out we would be screwed
(we've poured so much money in that sucker it better last for awhile!)

-the economy sucks right now and I'm really getting ticked at the corruptness of Corporate America!

-we just lost 292 bucks which put our account back to 0; damn greedy banks! we owed it they took it, thanks for the warning greedy buttheads!! Hmmm do you intend to pay back the many people you screwed over when you went under??? Ya.. didn't think so

-Dang! Why didn't I pay that bill earlier in the day

-so now we gotta beat this scum bank to the punch before they grab our money again!

-am I talking to myself? I'm really not crazy

-I got some stuff to take to kid-to-kid but I'm just to lazy….don't know if it'd be worth it

-sorry for my rant (it's totally not my nature to be this bitter) well I guess it must be a little or I wouldn't be talkin' like this right?

-but it could always be worse; I really need to count my blessings

-I have a lot of them

-The End.

On a lighter note Tabatha from Expressing it ALL!
(whoa! What is goin on here….four awards and my blog is still a baby!)

Well I don't know if it's quite an "award" but it's certainly……ahem...interesting :)

So here goes: (I'm a super goody goody so I don't do things like this but I guess I'll let my carnality take over….just this once right? :))

The rules are I must tell you 5 CHARACTERS with whom I would choose to knock boots with, or bump plastics with in this case I guess. and then of course pass it on!!

First of all can I just say that who in their right mind would wanna knock boots with someone else? (unless they were line dancing?) I don't even own a pair of boots??

Upon further examination of this intriguing picture I discovered a deeper meaning, (I'm pretty naive and a lot of things do go over my head but every now and then I do catch on to the grown up world)

so here goes: (and no mom I don't really do that even though I have three kids :))

1. I know some people might ew but I love love love Hugh Grant!

2. And who can resit the adorably cuteness of Shia LeBeof

(if you look closely it actually says Tylaine on his stomach)

3. I'm not a bad boy girl but Hugh Jackman does have a soft side too (what's with the name Hugh?)

4. I know we're not talking character or anything here so I'll go with Johnny Depp
(pirates alive!!!)

5. And I cannot forgot! oh my heart....Russel Crowe!

...passing on to....

1. Kim @ So many kids so little time
2. Mindi @ Mindi's Manic Meandering's
3. Terry @ Oh for pete's sake!
4. Glamazon @ Glamazon Mormon Mom
5. Ian @ Daily Dose of Reality (you can do women if you like :))

Ok I'm going to Hell now. Seriously my heart was even racing as I did this (don't laugh....ya...that's how uptight I am)

PYHO

2010-05-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

If you've read my past PHYO's you know I'm the absolute antithesis of a social butterfly. In fact I didn't even really have any friends 'till I joined my church and started attending activities and stuff. (Ya I had absolutely zero social life)
A couple on months later a friend and I were chatting and she was talking about how she liked to sometimes chat online and that this was a way sometimes for people to actually hook up. Introducing my first internet experience. I chose a chat room I thought would be appropriate, filled out my online profile and started chatting. Yes it was a single's room and yes I was kinda looking to meet someone but the thought was really in the back of my mind; I just liked talking to "my boys" (I think I freaked my mom out when I said that) Anyways one day this dashingly handsome screename comes on :) His was dreamspark Mine was dreameyes. (Oh those two names are just meant to be together :)) Actually at the time I used my real name which was why he choose me to talk to: cause it was the only "normal" looking name (I guess JadeKing or TomTom weren't his thing) and I kid you not he thought I was a guy! Well he soon learned different.
So after a month or so I asked him to come up (ya so brazen of me I know!) He only could because his mom drove for Greyhound so he got free tickets or else he never could of afforded it. (yep meant to be) 30 hours on the bus!!!! stopping at every little po dunk town on the way. He almost turned back in Montana cause he had been burned so many times before (sorry baby I know it's humiliating but you were a geek, only I saw the true beauty beneath his geeky awkward exterior)
So my reaction when he got off the bus.....(before I saw him: face smiling after I see him: face faking smile, if ya get the picture; ya no starry eyes here)
Long story short. I love him; I turn him away; I toy with him; I tell him there's nothing; he leaves thinking he'll never see me again; I love him......typical right?
Back and forth visiting. Craziest thing I've done. Engaged after a month of IRL and about 8 of online. Serious, you think you know someone online, IRL is sooo different.
And of course there was a moment I gave the ring back. Oooo I was kinda nasty.
It all worked out. The fiancee visa was a hasel (nother story). But I made it to Utah.
After I was here about a week we were married in a little town south of where we live.

It was hot hot hot that day (and I mean that literally it was like 104) I think my mom from Alberta just about melted. It was so beautiful out though! The flowers were gorgeous! Did I mention it was hot??

Then of course we had to stop at McDonald's on the way home. (I always wanted to go into McDonald's in a wedding dress)

The reception was super beautiful too! (the one thing I regret though is not eating more!! Serious, the food was so good I should of got a to-go box for later :) hehe!)
And ofcourse we had to bring something Canadian :)

And now 10 years later we have three beautiful angels and are still goin strong (well not right now but hey! we will be :)) And noone thought it would last.
(Really my mom told me later that she thought I'd be home within a month! :)

This is not just pouring my heart out. This IS my heart. :) (So please be gentle :))

Why thankyou...

2010-05-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

The Awesome Mrs. Claus over at Like Christmas Every Single Day/ was kind enough to pass on this Sweet Award! :)

The rules are:

Give this award to 10 sweet and friendly bloggers.

Make a post about the award including the picture and mention the person who gave it to you.

Put the award on your blog.

Let your nominated 10 know you've awarded them by leaving a comment.

I pass this award to these sweet and friendly beautiful bloggers.

1. Lana @ The Mama Trials
2. Heather @ Life as we Know it with Two Twinkies and a Tater Tot
3. Honey Mommy @ Honey Mommy
4. Stef @ Ooops...there goes my mind!
5. Rachelle @ Adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Superman
6. Shannon @ Faith~Hope~&~Love
7. Helene @ I'm Living Proof That God Has a Sense of Humor
8. Brittney @ Unexpected Surprises
9. Laura @ The Purse Blogger
10. Boob Nazi @ Boob Nazi

This last lady I'm sure does not know me (I'm not sure all the other ones do either :)) but I think her blog is SAH-WEET and I just wanted to let her know.
Thanks to all the SAH-WEET blogs out there!

"Monkey" Minute

2010-05-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

I've never participated in Monday Minute before with Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality but want to show my support for Michelle and her family who are going through sunch a horiffic time right now.

Is she a cutie or what? My heart just breaks for her.

Today's questions are:

1-How old do you act?

Well sometimes 2, sometimes 16, very occasionally 32

2-As far back as you can remember, what did you wanna be when you grew up?

Well I really never had a specific profession in mind I just knew I wanted to help people.

3-If you were to write a book based on your life, what would it be titled?

Seriously I Do NOT write :) Never gonna happen. Let's see....My own little bumpy road. See told you I suck at writing!

4-What's something you do that's considered "childish" by most?

Bite my nails, smell my fingers, whine and complain, throw fits (yes I did say I was 32) Did I just admit that? and not the 32 part.

5-The last question isn't a question. Write a story of a time when you or someone you know overcame great adversity.

When I was 9 years old I was hit with a type A flu virus that attacked my brain instead of my stomach. Physically, I lost everything (except the ability to breathe of course) I was in the hospital and rehab hospital for almost 8 months and then a lot of outpatient rehab. My mother was single at the time and was absolutely incredible. I truly believe it was only by the grace of God that she was given the strength to do what she did; physically and mentally. It was a very very long and hard and I humbly say miraculous road to recovery. Emotionally the recovery is still going on but I can say that overall it has definately made me a better person and totally changed my life.

Mommy and Me Mother's Day/Mono Monday

2010-05-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn

How blessed is the mom that has beautiful healthy children.

Mother's Day in Black and White:

A piece of me I give to you
I painted this flower
to say, "I love you"
The heart is you
The hand is me
To show we are friends --
the best there can be.
I hope you will save it
And look back someday
At the flower we shared
on your special day.
(Ethan made this in is kindergarden class)

Ethan and Aria picking dandelions for mom (oh my favorite weed!!)

The card reads "Mother's Day is a chance for us to treat you like a Queen...A Queen with really lazy subjects who don't listen very well!"

Me in Threes

2010-05-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

I was Tagged in this fun "whateveryoucallit" thing by the wonderful Ali from Mommie Life If you haven't checked out her and her adorable family DO! She's Awesome.

K I totally don't know how to do cute fonts or even centering or anything yet. I'll figure it out. :)

My Three's

Three Names I go by

Tylaine (duh)
Birdy or the very shortened version of Bird
Baby (ya that one's only for my hubby so don't get any ideas)

Three jobs I've had:

Maid for a couple different elderly ladies
kitchen help (ya I was hot in that hairnet!)
PCA at a home for adults with physical disabilities

Three places I've lived

Edmonton, Alerta
Calgary, Alberta
West Jordan, Utah

Three favorite drinks:

Water
Mots for Tots (ya I'm not ashamed to drink kid juice :))
Welch's CherryGrape (ya I'm pretty tame I know)

Three favorite movies:

New World
The Fountain
Avatar
My Sister's Keeper (I was never good in math either)

Three places I've been:

St. Thomas
Prince Edward Island (home of Anne of Green Gables...nother favorite movie! ha)
Victoria, British Columbia

Three places I'd like to visit:

Fiji
Tonga
Upstate New York (don't have much of a desire to go in NY though....maybe if I had A LOT of money :))

Three favorite foods: (Ah come on, only three, really?)

Snow crab, snow crab and more snow crab (does that count as three?)
Brocolli
Kiwi

Three makeup products I can't live without:

(oh seriously, what is makep?)
um blush
lip gloss
yep that's it

Three things I'm looking forward to:

My Aria's birthday
My mom coming down
Danny getting a job!!! (I wish I had somethin' more exicting)

Three people I tag

Laura @ Purse Blogger
Stef @ Oops...there goes my mind!
Brittney @ Unexpected Surprises

Friday Connfessional

2010-05-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

Yay! it's time for Friday Confessional with Glamazon!!

-Way back in jan. I found out that one of my college courses had no due dates until the end of the semester…

-so ofcourse I joked to myself that I would procrastinate everything till the night before

-hmmm guess I was only semi joking

-the last few weeks I have been feverishly trying to get all my quizzes and modules done

-I had also complained about the research paper when I saw it was due and whined to my hubby that'd he'd have to help me

-so he sat down and wrote the whole thing

-online courses are kinda a joke

-I'm not taking them for credit though: just so my brain doesn't turn to mush

- the reading is interesting though: I kinda wish now I had spent more time on it

-when I said I hate the cold last Friday; I didn't really mean "hate"; I do like the cold when it is SUPPOSED to be cold! (like in the middle of winter for two days)

-I AM Canadian! Sheesh!

-when I first moved here I thought Utahns were a bunch of whiners in the winter and they had no idea what cold really was

-well I do have an idea what cold really is but I have also become one of those whiners

-my 16 month old walks pigeon toed….Is this a problem? Should I be concerned?

-I have actual conversations with said 16 month old; it's hilarious because I really have no idea what she is saying? (ya they don't have baby speak in college)

-Have you ever thought that maybe part of the reason babies get so frustrated is because they are thinking: "Hey I'm talking to you and you're not answering!"

-I know I have three children but I am still amazed at how small and deflated my boobs get after nursing or should I say how big and inflated they get when you do nurse HA!

-I really hate going shopping and having to penny pinch

-and I'm not talkin' shoppin' shoppin', I'm talkin' like "toilet paper and bananas" shopping! (totally stole that line from Miracle on 24th street)

-it's no secret how much I love food and it would be nice to be able to go and just grab whatever I wanted (within reason of course ) and not have to worry 'bout the price

-when I teach at church on Sunday I sometimes feel like a hypocrite

-I am super duper worried and concerned about my hubby's lock o' job and I know it's way stressful for him too...please pray for us

Dreams

2010-05-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

Why are dreams so much better than reality sometimes? The feelings are always so much more intensified. Dreams can hold a lot of meaning or be meaningless.
When I was younger I often had scary dreams of floating or dreams of being chased by a sandman or a giant slug. Once I had a dream I passed my driver's before I did and I was so incredibly happy, then I woke up and realized I hadn't yet taken the test and I was so dissappointed. Probably meaningless.
Long before Ethan was born I had a dream that was simply the word mom (it actually might of been one of those pre concious things ya know right before you fully wake and you're in like a transition stage from sleeping) My husband said he had a dream around the same time that was simply a well dressed little boy reaching out to us. Probably some meaning there.
When I went through my Michael Jackson fetish stage in my youth (ya don't laugh) I had dreams that I actually met him and we took walks together (no really please don't laugh). Definately meaningless.
When Ethan was about 1 I had a dream that we were all on vacation and the scene was me standing on a balcony overlooking Danny and Ethan playing on the beach. Just one scene but it was one of the happiest, most peaceful feelings I've ever had. Probably Meaning.
When my husband and I went through our extreme difficult time I had a couple dreams where we were together and then I had this evil, fearful feeling from him. Definately Meaning.
Now recently I had a dream that I was again with Danny but this time the feeling was the complete oppososite. I hope Meaning.

Now we seem to be entering into another phase of our relationship as Danny has seemed to finally come to the realization that he has deep seeded issues from his past that need resolving (which ofcourse I have known for years :)) and will not simply be fixed by some antidepressent which only buries feelings deeper and masks them up. No good. They need to actually come out. Could be a long process.
I wonder what sort of dreams this will bring?

What sort of dreams have you had that have had meaning in your life or even no meaning?

Mother's Day

2010-05-05T05:38:00.000-07:00

With it being Mother's Day on Sunday I thought it'd be fitting to post about my wonderful, amazing mom whom I love so very dearly.

My dad left us when I was only 4. It was very hard on her (total understatement). She was hospitalized and very nearly had a nervous breakdown. Ofcourse being 4 I never understood how bad things were. My mom was just a little down and needed some care and then she came home and was her beautiful, strong self again.
I think my mom had a pretty hard time finding herself again in the following years but we would of never known it. For us kids she was always smiles and sunshine, giving us the best childhood she possibly could.
Then I was struck with my illness as I have mentioned. My mom was truly amazing and inspirational during this time. She fought for me when everyone else was ready to give up. The long hours she spent with me. I don't know where she got the energy. And then she took me home on the weekends and took care of me. I know that God sure helped her have the strength but she sure is amazing.
She always tried to give us the best even when we didn't have much. I sure never knew how much she struggled with money. I mean we certainly didn't have everything but I always got anything I really wanted. She was the best mom ever! She made probably hundreds (that might be a bit of an exaggeration) of graham cracker gingerbread houses for my three birthdays! I remember having candle time with her and washing her feet. I loved doing something for her that made her feel good because she had done everything for me. I remember our cozy "road" nights (watching Road to Avonlea) (and the one night we were watching my brother and sister broke the window playing baseball getting glass all over my mom's apple pie) I'm sure these don't mean anything to anyone else but her but they're wonderful memories we'll always share. Then of course there was our beautiful trip to the maritimes. I could probably write a book on the memories of that one. So much fun! What a wonderful trip I will cherish forever and I know she will too. Someday we'll go back I hope. :)
And here we are today….well with a lot inbetween. But here we are now and my mom still sacrifices so much for not only me but my whole family. I know she loves her grandkids with the same fierceness that I do. I can only hope I can be the amazing kind of mother she has been. If I am so fortunate my kids will someday feel the way I do about her.
Mom you are one of my truest and best friends. I love you with all my heart. Happy Mother's Day

Just Relax...

2010-05-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

Anyone else have troubling relaxing? Feel Guilty? Always think they should be doing something?
There's so many things to do ALL THE TIME! Cleaning, Cooking, Changing diapers, More Cleaning, School work, Blog reading, More cleaning, Scrapbooking (sometimes if I'm lucky), Exercising on the Eliptical Machine that is just sitting our bedroom collecting dust, Oh and the most important: SPEND TIME WITH THE KIDS! I feel like I can't relax or if I do I should be doing something else. And many times if I'm doing one thing I should be doing another. Even when I'm sleeping all the things I need to do the next day are running through my mind.
I look at my kids playing and running around outside so happy and joyful and I think wow! they have no other thought in their heads at this moment other than to have fun. What must that be like? Oh to be in the moment. Please tell me how. If it was only that easy. Sometimes I feel like I try to squeeze in reading or craft time with the kids just so I can feel somewhat like I spend time with them, and not let them watch tv all day (I don't do that!), and I'm not a horrible mother who obsesses over cleaning and gets onry with her kids when they interrupt her blog reading, and not just for the enjoyment of it, ya know?
It's like the days are just passing by filled with "have to's" and not many "want to's"
Boy am I feelin the mom guilt!!

Can someone tell me I'm not alone in this insanity????

Mommy and Me/Mono Monday

2010-05-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Krystyn

The kids and I made some fishies and hearts with contact paper and tissue paper (so fun and cute we make all kinds of things and decorate the window) Anyway we put them up on the wall when they do little chores around the house or if Ethan does his homework or Aria stays dry so many times (yes we are still having issues at almost 4 and it's driving me nuts!) Ok point. Ethan got his ten fishies so he got to go to the community pool with Mom. (I took the picture before we went cause I don't look to hot with wet hair and blood shot eyes :))

In The Palm of Nature

Goodmorning from God
Greeting the World
Heaven's Smile
For all to see

I can hear you
So gentle
I can feel you
So near
I can see you
So real

Window of Heaven
Glimpse of eternity
Brilliant colors running into eachother
Headed by a ball of fire
Sinking into the
Unknown

Angelic world
Why have you changed?
'I have not changed
Just open your eyes
I am there
And will be
Always'

I totally had so much fun with this. I love nature pictures!

.....yes that is snow from this weekend!!

Friday Confessional

2010-04-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

-It's somewhat ironic that I received the sunshine award when I'm certainly not in a sunshine state of mind lately

-Snow??? Are you kidding me? This is the end of April right. RIGHT!?

-Laugh if you must but I think I am in love with Stouffers

-but I might cheat with Contessa sometimes

-Hamburger Helper really is a helper

-I just don't like to cook

-eating is where it's at (if I have to I'll do it only if I get to eat it :))

-why do I keep yelling at my kids? I'm not angry at them, I'm angry at me

-that's not fair

-this is really random

-I don't like the cold

-what? you're from Canada

-I've had my share OK!

Oh well if you insist. :)

2010-04-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

Wow! an actual award for me? This is actually the second award I've received on my newbie blog and I unashamedly ducked out of the first because I didn't know what I was doing (still don't) and wasn't even that familiar with other blogs (still not....oh but I will get there!) So I'll do my best to uphold the honor of the Sunshine award. I received this award from
Kellie @ Hendricks Family. Thanks so much Kellie! I'm so glad I found your awesome blog! :) If you haven't met her go and give her some love! She's expecting her third little angel from Heaven too which is so super exciting!!

The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging world.”

Of course, awards come with rules…
1. Put the logo on your blog and/or within your post.
2. Pass the award on to twelve bloggers.
3. Link to the nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and the link to the person from whom you received this award

Although I'm fairly new in the bloggy world I look forward to a long and happy life with all you lovely ladies!!! .....and the winners are!

Elizabeth @ Elizabeth Esther
Stacey @ Any Mommy Out There?
Kim @ In search of Me in Mommy
Kimi @ So Many Kids, So Little Time
Mrs. Claus @ like Christmas every single day
Mama Pebz @ Only the Curious have Something to Say
Jamie @ Little Bishop Chronicles
Chelle @ Whiney Mommy
Alysha @ Supermom
Ali @ Mommie's Life
Krystyn @ Really, Are you Serious?
Stacy @ Letters to the Little Ones

The first two ladies Elizabeth and Stacey, undoubtedly have no idea who I am (I'm sure many of you don't as my blog is pretty new) but I absolutely love their blogs. They really are amazing women. I don't know if they're into awards at all but I wanted to recognize their awesome blogs!

Kim was one of the first commenters on my other blog and I love her blog. She's so open and honest, it's so refreshing to read that!

Kimi, you are hillarious! I totally love reading your blog. I love your sense of humor!

Mrs. Clause, I'm really glad I found your blog. You have such a nice family and I look forward to getting to know you and your new sleigh better!

Mama Pebz, You have such a great attitude about things and I love the way you blog about trying to do better. Such a fun blog!

Jamie you have such a cute blog! I told her yesterday that she is a brave women for trying to go sans shampoo.

Chelle you are awesome! I love all your kind comments and I love your blog. You're so honest and it's great!!

Alysha I'm so glad I found your blog. You are a beautiful person and you have a beautiful family (and you take beautiful pictures :))

Ali thanks for being such an awesome person to me. I love your blog. Your family is adorable (and you take beautiful pictures too! :))

Krystyn, I've enjoyed reading your blog and being a part of Mommy and Me. It's fun to see you in cute pictures with your kids!

Stacy, I'm glad I found your blog. I've really enjoyed reading your witty sense of humor. And your header is so simple and beautiful! :)

Well there ya go 12 lovely ladies. If you haven't visited their blogs (which you probably have cause they're AWESOME!) do!

Golden Angels

2010-04-27T21:42:00.001-07:00

It's time for PYHO again. My favorite meme! If you haven't tried it...DO!

When I finished High School I never really hummed and hawed over what sort of career to go in like many. I always knew I wanted to help people. My problem was I hated school and was extremely shy and after my dreaded high school experience I just wanted a break. The one group of people I was not shy with was the elderly, I seemed to have a knack with them. I loved them and they loved me. I took that year off and worked part time as kitchen help at the care center where I had volunteered for a couple years. Other than my volunteering and working though I was kinda a recluse. My mom and step dad worried about me and my mom pushed me to go into general ed at the community college. Ok if that'll make mommy feel better I'll take a few generals. Ya and it kinda made me feel better too. Anyways during that time I looked at a few different possibilities such as social work, occupational therapist (no way don't go the smarts for that one ) So I ended up taking a personal care attendant course at the same college. It was great. I loved my small knit class. I loved my practicum. I loved the elderly. I took a job as a PCA at a group home for physically disabled adults. Again it was wonderful, I loved it. I even took a couple of the people on outings and spent much of my free time there. During this time I had applied to a recreational therapy program in a city 2 hours south of where I lived (mostly at the RT's insistence where I volunteered because he had gone there also and highly recommended it) Anyways I wasn't even sure I wanted to go if I got accepted. I loved my job. I could soon possibly go full time and just do this for awhile. Nope....as much as I loved it there as soon as I got accepted I knew I wanted to go. Greatest experience of my life (well up until that point :)) Again my practicum's where a highlight. I got to work with physically disabled adults again in this recreation program that went to all kinds of fun places throughout the city. So much fun! Then I got to work in another care center doing fun stuff. Man getting paid to play! What could be better.
So here I am in Utah and after several months of being here (and married) I get a job as a recreation assistant at a care center. Love it! Love! I can't even tell you….so many wonderful experiences! Whoa this post turned out a bit wordier than I planned. :)
These elderly were just so amazing and what an honor it was to just talk with them (even the ones whose minds were partly gone) Still there's so much to learn from them and it's so sad in today's society that these precious angels are often overlooked. There was so much fun and joy there but there was also sadness and loneliness. People who had children never come and visit (even though they lived in the same city). I will always look back at my time there with fondness.

I also wanted to mention my dear grandma who passed away at the age of 96 and share a tribute I wrote for her. My dad thought it was so beautiful that he read part of it at her funeral. I'm so glad because now in a small way I can feel like I participated at her funeral (although I couldn't be there physically)

My Grandma peacefully passed away this morning (the 26th) and I felt like I should record a few of the wonderful memories I have of her and the time we spent together.
My Gram's house was always warm and comfortable and a fun place to be. Warm....that's putting it midly....She very often kept the thermostat at 90 degrees so heat is quite a vivid memory of my Gram's house.
When my brother, sister and I were growing up we spent quite a bit of time at our Gram's. My grandma (who in her youth was dedicated, loving school teacher) had a spare room downstairs with a desk and chalkboard and numerous worldy books. We would play "school" down there. My sister was the teacher, and me and my brother were the unruly students. I don't remember our classes (I'm sure my sister tried to whip us into shape) but I do remember recess. We would run upstairs to the warmth of my Grandma's kitchen (often smelling yummy baking) and she would fix us a snack (and we no doubt would of complained about our "schoolwork") Gee I wonder what my sister did down there while we were at "recess"?? Best part of the schoolday!
My brother and I had quite a few sleepovers at our Grammies. We had a lot of fun playing with her "ancient" toys. She had a indoor lawn bowling set that we quite enjoyed playing with. Cards were a big thing in our family. There were many, many afternoons our Gram would sit patiently and play our "childish" card games; hours on end of Go Fish and Kings in the Corner and once we were older Crib. Yahtzee was a big one too and tons of ......???? that game with the eight colours and you rolled the dice trying to get them all safely home (kinda like an old fashioned version of sorry) One activity though that was so much fun at the end of the day was "babershop". My Gram had her favorite chair that she always sat on and it was big enough for my brother and me to sit on the back or side as to have good access to her hair. We got out clips and combs and rollers and pins. We were quite the hairdressers and ofcourse my Grandma always had to check out her new doo in the mirror. I'll never know how she kept a straight face and told us so nicely how pretty it was. One word: Love.
I had quite the stubborn streak as a child and one evening I got a bee in my bonnet about something my grandma did and I was going to run away. Well I only got to the corner of the block before I turned around again. Ofcourse my Gram welcomed me back with open arms.
Each year at Christmas my Dad would take us kids over to put up and deorate Grandma's Christmas tree. It was a lot of fun putting up her ornaments and old fashioned lights.
So many other wonerful memories that include much Lawrence Welk watching, news paper reading and swapping, gardening in her huge, beautiful back yard, pie crust eating, peanut butter ball eating, going to Swiss Chalet, eating over cooked brocolli (hmmm eating is kinda a theme here) and lots and lots of Crib!!
My Gram was a wonderful woman and I loved her very much. It's always bittersweet when an elderly loved one passes because often the sadness is accompanied with knowing it was a blessing in many ways. We had so many wonderful times together Gram that I will always treasure. I love you Gram. God be with you till we meet again!