It's Day 4 of the Day of Truth challenge with Angel Believes
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
3 years ago my husband became addicted to a prescription drug. Because of this he became very mentally ill and his behaviour was beyond abnormal. It is a very long story but he did many hurtful things to me and many others (not on purpose....he was sick) but still the hurt and anger lingers and it is a struggle for me to truly forgive. It is easy enough to say, oh ofcourse I do he's my husband I love him, but when I'm alone and really think deep down I don't know if I completely have forgiven.
Is that awful??
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WOW! That was so brave for you to share! I am sure that it was so hurtful, and hard to watch him self distruct! (its hard seeing someone you love do something you know is hurting them, and you can't make them see it!)
ReplyDeleteIt is not wrong that there is still anger! Hopefuly you can work at it, and move forward.
BIG HUGE HUGS SENT YOUR WAY! LYGIRL!
hey... it's nice to see your blog and I'm following you now without thinking twice and linked you already. feel free to follow me and link me..
ReplyDeleteI just suprised with your story and you're such a strong wife in the whole world!
just forgive him even it's so hurt! you'll try and your angel will destroy with your love to him.
xo, Lorine
That is a big step to post about something so sensitive to you, I thank you for sharing. It is not wrong that there is anger and hurt, that is understandable. Each day is a day forward and as long as you continue to support him in his challenge to overcome the addiciton that is a step towards forgiveness. Sending love & support your way!
ReplyDeleteWhat courgage you have to post this! My husband & I are coming up on our 10th anniversary, but about 5 years ago we hit a major bump in the road. We both did things that were hurtful. And my husband has said to me that he has forgiven me but can't forget. I hate that he & I both still have our guard up with each other, because when he told me that, I got what he meant, I feel the same way. We love each other, I am proud of us, we have come a long way...but no matter, we are human and it is hard to forget...even if we have forgiven. Hope this rambling makes sense.
ReplyDeleteWhat I have learned with forgiveness, it was more for me than for him. When I was able to forgive him, it actually helped me more.
But you are incredible to admit this. To post this. I will be praying for you and your journey to forgiveness!
Addiction is hard. My sister in law was addicted to prescription drugs for almost 7 years. Her boys are 14 & 12. She did insane things as well, even though the ones she hurt the most were her children and husband, we got the brunt of some of the isanity, and it is a hard hard to forget! I have a lot of respect for you to even want to forgive him!
You are not awful, in fact you are the complete opposite of such: you are wonderful! for admitting the truth and being real, that's already a step towards forgiveness. I do believe that forgiveness is important, and you will reap the benefits the most in the end (which is nothing to be selfish about, you deserve to feel happy and healthy). But to forget is another story. You are human and it's important to also remember and take note of pain. But what's most important is how you deal with it.
ReplyDeletehope this helps a tinsy bit! : )
Forgiving is hard. Especially when there has been real deep hurts, and broken trust. It is so understandable that you struggle with forgiving; I think all humans do! Forgiveness is something that does not come naturally to us; we think that if we forgive that person who wounded us, it's like saying that what they did was OK. But that's not true, it WASN'T OK, and forgiveness does not mean excusing the wrong, or pretending it didn't hurt.
ReplyDeleteI like the saying, "To forgive is to set a prisioner free, and then discover that the prisoner was Me."
It's US who benefit from forgiving , because it means that the pain in our hearts can begin to heal; the wounds can begin to close because we have taken the poison out.
But it's so hard. I am on this journey too.
xx
My brother had a mental breakdown a few years ago and I still don't know how my SIL was able to get through that and forgive him! He's right as rain now but sometimes I look back at that time and wonder how their marriage survived!
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