Wednesday, July 28, 2010


I've been thinking and thinking today about what I could write about but nothin'. I really want to write something because I feel so disconnected from the blog world that so warmly received me 3 months ago. This wonderful meme by Shell was probably the biggest persuasion for me to start my blog and I would like to thank her for that.

I have read so many wonderful PYHO posts that I can relate to so much. Why can't I write that eloquent when I'm feeling down? I want people to relate to me to. I need support just like anyone else. But I feel as if if I don't have ideas for writing and only post once in a while that I'm left in the dust. I've felt that too much in my life and I don't wanna feel that way at 32 for goodness sake!!! I know I need to participate in things and share myself if I want reciprocity so I don't wanna sound selfish or anything. I have done that and many times got nothing in return so it's kinda hard to put your heart out there.

I am down.
I feel like we're in a rut.
The economy is big time kickin' our butts.
We need a change. a BIG change.
We need to find us again.
I want to be stronger for my kids.
I don't want my kids to have an insecure mom.
I don't want my kids to be insecure.
I want to be able to be assertive for my kids.
I want to be able to be assertive for me.
I hate mom guilt. but I don't know how not to feel it?
I want to be nicer to my kids.
I want to cherish this time of innocence with them.
I. Just. Want to be Happy.


  1. Well, I've got to tell you...I relate. A whole lot, actually! Just wanted you to know that. :)

  2. {{{HUGS}}}
    I love you girl. I wish I could take these feelings away. Life is definitely not easy is it?

  3. I feel what you are saying. I have 4 kids that I have often felt not good enough for. We all want what's best for them and as human beings we know we fail at times. It's ok. We all feel that.

    When it comes to writing, it seems to more I do it, the more I have to say. I have even used "writing prompts" entered into a search engine and have some up really great ideas. Give it some time, it takes time to get in the groove anytime you start something new.

  4. Oh Tylaine you have so very much going on in your life right now, sometimes it is hard to get the sentiments out when you are trying at the same time for the sake of your family to keep a lid on your emotions for the sake of your family. With regards to the writing don't think about writing a blog just write as if it were a journal or you talking to yourself, very openly and honestly and see what comes out. If you don't like it no need to publish, always remember that too, so you don't apply pressure on yourself. Anytime you want to talk I have an ear that is very readily bent, just remember.

  5. I agree with Jane/Aging Mommy.

    And as far as all of your mommy sentiments, I am right there with you, especially with the assertiveness and insecurity....

  6. we have all been there hun, stay strong. The best thing about blogging is that you can just vent when you want too! even if you want to write a post dropping a million f bombs go for it, because this is your space to be you and to express all your emotions no matter what they may be

  7. This is a good place to come when you're down and life is disappointing you. I've been pretty down for days. Same kind of stuff as you.

    I had no words early in the week. So I read. I read blogs. And I started to leave comments. Some were short. Then others got longer. Until today, when I was finally able to write a post again.

    Maybe it would work, next time, for you. Your post today is wonderful - just the raw way that it is.

  8. If I had a penny for every time I was a monster to my kids and thought "I want to be nicer..."...I'm with you my friend. Hang in there! Keep writing...sometimes that is the only way I can get through my rough patches