I hope you know how awesome you are for doing this meme. It is so wonderful to read other's heartfelt words and being able to relate to people we never thought we would. Blogging is so wonderful like that. Bringing people together :)
Ok this post is probably gonna be really depressing and full of self loathing and oh poor meisms but I just really need to get it out there.
How do I stop comparing myself? How can I be happy with who I am? With what I can do when someone always does it better?
I'm tired of hearing just try harder. Just be positive. Ok but how? Seriously I honestly don't think I'll ever get to a point where I don't compare myself and that comparing tends to give me a major inferiority complex. Comparing. Every. Single. Aspect of my Life! And then there's looking at it from the other angel which is well look at what you do have compared to people in third world countries and you're healthly beautiful children and so on. I don't wanna hear that cause I do know it and it just makes me feel worse about feeling worse ya know? Maybe I just need to move to a third world country. Someone there is probably more worthy to live in this privileged country than I am.
Please tell me how. I've read so many blogs and just heard about people coming out of a darkness in their life, finding themselves and finding happiness. How? Do you just think your way out of the mess? Or will your way? I tell ya I would do just about anything not to feel this way. I hate it. I'm so appreciative of the advice and kind words I have gotten from so many, I just don't know how to internalize them. And it's not just a funk like many said on another pathetic post I wrote (although I do appreciate your comments). I've felt this way for a long time. I think there's just times when I'm able to push it down farther. Feelings Buried Alive Never Die (ok that's not original it's a book title) But so true right?
Please tell me your secret? I want to know! I don't know exactly how to change??
If we could change ourselves, we would all be perfect. I wish I had the answer- if you figure it out let me know.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had an answer for you.
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel this way. There is a laundry list of things I would change about me - but then I try to think that God made me this way for a reason... I just don't know the reason yet.
((hugs))
I don't think there's an easy step by step here's how you do it way. Its a gradual process that has more to do with letting things go rather than changing anything per say. It has to do with lowering expectations and absorbing whats around you if that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteIf I knew how I'd tell you. I think it is different for each person and sadly something you have to discover on your own. I find myself right back in that darkness whenever I come out of it...it is a constant battle to find my way. You can try all you want, as hard as you can...it's not always just that "easy" as some people think. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's really an easy answer or a one-size-fits-all solution. I've always found my way out of my super dark and deep depressive strings of months by focusing really hard on "the girl I know I can be" and then keeping that in the front of my mind every day. For my best friend, though, that wouldn't work. She deals with her problems through counseling. My Mom has to make significant changes in her life--like starting college, changing jobs, or even a new haircut--to come out of her darkness.
ReplyDeleteMy best advice? Try anything you can to change things if you're unhappy. Worst case scenario, you get a new haircut or spend some time talking to someone. Pulling out of my depression this year is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've been taking a walk every evening, once the heat dies off, and just getting out of the house and having some quiet time to think (or time with a friend, if someone feels like joining me) does wonders for how I feel in general.
(Also, I think you're wonderful exactly the way you are, based on what I know of you from your blog. It's hard to see ourselves clearly, especially the good things.)
Good luck, sweetie.
Sometimes it takes more help then just yourself and family to find your way out of the darkness. For me it consisted of a team. Doctor, therapist, caring family, and a coupld handy dandy meds.
ReplyDeleteI feel so much like my old self. The out going, fun loving person I am. Are there still down days. Of course. Even people that don't have anxiety and depression issues have down days.
Hang in there.
I always find myself comparing myself to others. And it's NEVER favorable. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI get into funks...and other times, it's full-on depression I'm a believer in medication. Because sometimes it is more than just a funk.
Books. I read lots and lots of personal developing books. I make sure that I read 10 pages/day on a book that is focused on improving my attitude and self.
ReplyDeleteOne of my absolute favorites is The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews. I promise that if you are reading these things you will improve inside... if I can ANYBODY can.
I just want to say how much I can relate to what you wrote. I've tried to change more times than I can count...and never succeeded. Wish I knew the secret, too. In the meantime I am trying to learn to live in the MOMENT. It seems a bit easier that way.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say I was like this once. I was, and I know how you feel. Then I had my girls, and it got worse. I got PPD, I thought everything I did sucked, and I hated everything about myself. It was a bad funk, and like Shell said, medication brought me out of that funk. Now, I'm off meds, and living my life with my baby girls, and my hubby...and trying to concentrate on nothing but them, and our happiness. I don't know what to tell you, except always keep your head up, and try and focus on the good stuff, not what you don't have.
ReplyDeleteLife has it's ebbs and flows. I think we all have our faults and things we wish we could change things about ourselves. Somethings cannot be changed and others can. you have to find the things you do like and focus on those. Counseling helps some people and like Shell said, medication works too. Sometimes we can't get out of our funk without medical help.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart,
ReplyDeleteI haven't read enough of your blog to know for sure if you are a Christian but if you are ... a book called Victory Over the Darkness by Neil T Anderson was a great help to me when I was battling depression. I also went on an antidepressant because some of it was hormonal and no amount of words were going to help. But ultimately I find hope, strength and peace in my faith in God.
I love you girl. I want you to know how great I think you are. Because you need to know this. You don't need to compare yourself to others because how you do it is the best possible way. There will always be others who seem to do something better or have a quality that you want but you know what? We don't want you to be that person. We want you to be you. I can't tell you how many times I have felt this way and it hurts. Like no other. It sucks. So, try to remember how amazing you really are, for me, okay? Because you are. I promise.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard not to compare ourselves to others. Such and such has it all figured out, so and so never does this wrong. I think that normally, people try to use positive energy and say they don't dwell ever on the negative, because I don't think it's possible not to compare.
ReplyDeleteBut if we were all like each other what a boring world that would be. We each contribute something unique right? That has to be the focus. Your words influenced me and I'm just coming across your blog through Shell. You've already made an impact on my day. That's pretty great to me :)
I have NO idea how to answer your question cause I certainly haven't figured it out yet, but I wanted to say hi anyway. I love your header... did you draw that pic?
ReplyDelete