Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Just Rambling

Thought #1

I'm feelin' pretty overwhelmed today (well everyday lately) I'm gettin' kinda worried about my hubby's job. He still hasn't found on yet. Last week he came so close to getting a really good progamming job but the competition is just so tight. I'm a little barky at him which is not helping. I know I need to be supportive because this is really hard on him too because I know he's trying so hard. This morning I had to go pick up a few things and he said well are you going cause if not I need to go do my stuff and I snarked back well go then you always just go off all day to the college and don't even accomplish anything (seriously?! I want to smack myself...that is just mean and it's not an isolated thing) I don't know why I get so snarky but it's just no good. Really. I know that. Our moods really affect eachother so when one's up the other is and unfortunately vice versa. I think I tear him down sometimes and I hate myself for that. He had a not good growing up experience and has kinda been prone to depression. If you knew his family you'd say along with me that he truly is a diamond in the rough. I talk to my mom and she has so much faith in him. Do I? I mean he's my husband and I need to be his biggest fan and support him and I'm not. Shame on me.

NOTE TO SELF: Remember post on virtuous women!

Thought #2

We are so incredibly blessed. How can I possibly complain about money. Really in the grand scheme of things. Money doesn't matter. Financial problems really are a joke when you think of what other trials there are in life. I need to sit back and count my blessings. But sometimes I wanna be selfish. It's hard when you see others who seem to have the perfect life (and not just financially here), the perfect relationship, perfect kids. Why is it so hard to compare to those who seem more fortunate but not the other way around?

Thought #3

Oh my gosh I actually have 8 people following my blog (i know that's puny pittilence compared to other blogs but for me it's huge and I'm being totally serious here thankyou for caring enough to follow) What if I don't have anything to say though and dissappoint people? I mentioned I'm a people pleaser. :)

Thought #4 (this is the best)

They are absolutely miracles from our Heavenly Father. How precious are our children. I was walking my son to school and he, my daughter and his friend were talking about care bears. My son says how he and Aria have a care bear collection. They have lots of bears! Just one example of so many everyday that mean nothing when someone else hears it but brings an unbelievable feeling of love. Looking out the kitchen window to see your children swinging on the playset outside or sitting on the ground playing some made up game together. Sweetest moments that only you will ever understand the significance of.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel...I am all too often sarcastic and edgy with my husband, sometimes for no reason at all...it's harder when one or both of you are down. But at least you realize it and it bothers you. How unfortunate it would be for your husband if you didn't recognize it.

    As far as disappointing your readers, it goes back to why are you writing a blog? Is it to get a ton of readers? If so, then I suppose there are some expectations, but if you are just writing because you like to write and it's a great way to get your thoughts down on 'paper', write whenever you feel like it or have something to write about. I think if a writer has to 'force' something, just to try to please someone else, it isn't as good. You know?