Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Where did my Sister Go?

It's time for PYHO with Shell at Things you can't say. It's a great meme and a wonderful chance to get part of YOU out there to share with others.

My parents divorced very early on in my life (when I was about 4). Because of this my sister (4yrs. older) took on the role of the second parent. Partly because of the circumstances but partly because it was her nature. So she was always like a second mother to me. Like my mother I think she was even more protective of me after my illness.
Growing up I always looked up to my sister thinking she was so cool. I loved spending time with her and I believe her with me. She took me out for my first bagel, she took me on the freeway when I was learning to drive which almost gave me a heart attack, she even let me hang out with her and her "cool" boyfriends and go "slurpy timin'" in the middle of the night with them (just a walk and slurpees….let's not get carried away)
She was smart, funny, cool. She was wonderful. She was my big sister whom I love dearly. I sadly say was….
She met a good man. He served a mission for his and now my church. She joined. I joined. She helped me through many difficult times including having my dad being totally against us joining the church. She was extremely supportive of me when I chose to get married in a temple of our church. She and her husband sacrificed much to come 2000 miles to my wedding. She had great faith. She was so strong. Or so I thought?
We were always close and then….well….then I don't know. It just all stopped.
After 11 yrs. of marriage and 1 son she just up and turned her back on the whole thing. So it seems to us on the outside. She won't talk to anyone just expects everyone to understand? Understand what? Leaving your husband who is a good man? Leaving your 2 yr. old son? Leaving your church?
You know it's funny how so often the sibling who has the most animosity towards a parent who wronged them turns out to be the most like them. My dad left my mom and three kids just "cause". He fell out of love (I don't believe that)? He just couldn't handle the responsibility? He was immature and being completely selfish. Hmmm seems a little familiar of the situation now. My sister, being the oldest when he left, had a lot of bitterness and anger towards him for what he did and now she's doing the same thing.
Where did my sister go? Or did I ever really know her?


  1. Oh Tylaine! I'm so sorry! It's so hard hearing these things. I wish you peace and comfort through this trial. I will pray for your sister. It is so weird how the people who object the most end up having similar issues. I hope she soon realizes her mistakes and makes them better. I am so sad for her husband and son. I hope they are doing okay. {{HUGS}}

  2. Sounds if she isn't talking there is more there than any of us can imagine. I don't imagine it was as easy as it sounds for her to walk away form the family.

    I think she doesn't want to explain because she feels defensive to people whom she thinks are judging her before "understanding". I think she really needs a sister, mother, or friend who can be there for her without for her with out judgement. Listen, and offer advice when she asks.

    I really do believe there is more to her side of the story than is visible.

  3. Oh, how sad! I hope that she will someday be able to talk to you about this and share her reasons. Because that would be so hard to understand!

    Thanks for linking up!

  4. I have always felt that the greatest gift I have givin my daughters is eachother- I was an only child- I can't imagine what you must feel like- I would never want to my girls to become unfirendly or ignore eachother .., I am so sorry.

  5. I am so sorry. It is so tough to lose someone so close to you. ALl you can do is pray that the lord will heal her heart. I'll keep her in my prayers!

    Thanks for the sweet comment!

  6. {{hugs}} I hope that one day she will find it in herself to talk to you. I cannot imagine how anyone feels in this situation. Sometimes I know life can be overwhelming...but I wish that she had talked to someone to get it off of her chest.


  7. I can't believe she could walk away from everything she did. It doesn't make sense! I don't even know what to say. I wish I could give you a hug and say it will be better soon, she will come around. I guess we can only hope!