A day late and more than a dollar short

Merry late Christmas!!! Hope that everyone had a wonderful and very blessed Christmas. Here's hoping that this New Year's will be fantastic and that God's blessing will shine upon you throughout this coming year.






Tip: In order to get a 2 yr. old to sit for a picture, bribe with candy.

Ok get this...I've been married for ten years and have never done my own turkey or made my own stuffing. With only two people and then even with little kids that eat next to nothing on Christmas because they fill up with goodies who wants to make a huge turkey. Well now that the kids are a little older and eat still next to nothing I decided this was the year. So friday I prepared my mashed potatoes and yams (you know to lighten the load a bit on Christmas) and then came the big turkey day! Oh it turned out wonderful, so moist and tasty. I look so forward to turkey leftovers. Yum! Anyways after our meal (I was too lazy to clean up right away) we had a nice fire, or so we thought. Danny started the fire, went out to the garage to get more fuel, and the ghost that hates Christmas and wants to make everyone miserable closed our flue! Oh the smoke! Oh the soot! All my wonderful cooking, all the blankets, all the sheets!! Good thing it was only 6:30 so I had time to wash all our bedding. NEVER EVER having a fire in our ancient fireplace again!!!! Hence no yummy leftovers for me :(

Would you just give up on a million dollars?

Ok I know I said I wasn't gonna post till the New Year but I was talking to my husband about this book we read and I had these thoughts and wanted to share them.
The book we were talking about is Sarah's Song by Karen Kingsbury. It is a short little easy read for Christmas. A story about an elderly woman who has a story to share through her 12 days of Christmas countdown. She prays for someone to share the story with and it turns out to be on of the aides that works at her care center who is also on the brink of divorce.

If you had a job that you could do but had to work really really hard at and were told at the end of a year you would make a million dollars....would you just give up after a week of trying because it was too hard???? I sure wouldn't and I don't think I know anyone who would either.

So why are so many people so willing to just give up on their marriage and family for worldly, superficial reasons?? Yes a marriage lasts a lot longer than a year but the reward is also much much MUCH greater than a million dollars.

Too much else to say.
--I'm verklempt--
"talk amongst youselves"

Gratitude

To my two faithful readers,

Please do not stop reading me even though I've taken a hiatus from blogland and probably will not return until after the New year. Things are a little touch right now (can't complain too much though because I know a lot are in far worse situations with this economy). Danny still hasn't found a job and his unemployment ended about a month ago so things are really tight. He does have a couple of good looking prospects though which we're hopeful about. Anyways on to the gratitude...

This Christmas and holiday season could be a lot worse for us but we are so very blessed to have many angels among us. First of all my dear mom who has sacrificed and given us so much. Second our beloved bishop who is so kind to us and helped us so much. And thirdly to a wonderful elderly couple who gave us money for the kids Christmas. And ofcourse there are other angels who have helped us so much in the past. We are so blessed and I am so humbled by all we've received. I am so thankeful for all the wonderful, positive people in my life that help to lift me up when I am down and inspire me when I am uninspired. I am so thankeful that I have the three most beautiful, perfect, healthy kids on the earth and a husband who is a wonderful man who continues to become better all the time. I am thankeful that I live in this great country that allows me the freedom to worship my Beloved Savior without persecution. I am thankeful I can go to bed each night in a warm bed with a full stomach. The list could go on and on but I'm sure you get the point ;)

At the Christmas season I hope we can all have, as the beloved President of my church says, an "Attitude of Gratitude".

I have missed blogging and the friendships there and the closeness of other women who "get" it. I hope I can come back in the New year with some more positive feelings to reflect on my blog. Love to all!

Hunger Games??

Ok am I the only person that found the Hunger Games deeply disturbing?? With all the popularity of the book I thought...well I guess I'll give it a try.....don't think I'll be reading the other two though. Actually read is an incorrect word....I skimmed it cause I couldn't even read it all but unfortunately the morbidity of it peeked my carnal curiosity.
I mean even though there may be some interesting dialogue and interactions between characters does not erase the fact that the premise of the book is teenagers killing teenagers!! I'm sorry I don't care how interesting the characters are and other things, I can't get past the fact that basically the story emerges from this heinous ritual of teen slaughter??
---Am I overreacting?--

Mummy Dogs

(about the most creative I get at Halloween :))

Acceptance

First of all....thankyou so much to everyone who did that little favor for me. I was really surprised at the willingness of people to do something so nice for me. Thankyou.

Last night a group of us Utah Bloggers had our second (hopefully often) GNO. It was awesome! First of all we had potato martinis which rocked!!! Potatoes in a martini glass (boy I felt classay!) We had a few "new" girls come that didn't make it to the first one and man.....who knew Utah women could be so awesome!! I guess I'm living in the wrong area. Seriously these women are so sincere, so genuine, just so AWESOME!! I can't tell you how much I love these girls and how much I appreciate them! Seriously even though I don't know them that well it feels like we've known eachother for years. At the risk of sounding pathetic I have to say that I've never felt this kind of acceptance before. Apart from my mom and my now family here and maybe two girls back home I've never felt this before. Not that people don't accept me, but that I guess I haven't let myself feel it as much because of low self esteem and all that good stuff. I've never (with the exception of the afore mentioned two) had girlfriends that you can just share yourself with and be accepted for who you are and that "GET" crap in life ya know! I certainly don't wanna diminish the other two fabulous ladies frienship but being 1800 miles away does put a little damper on getting together. I think blogging forges a special bond between people. People seem to be more accepting in bloggy world then they are in the real world and that doesn't really make sense but maybe it's just because they're reading it and I think when you can''t respond face to face you can feel more empathy and sympathy and ofcourse on the other end there's the feeling more comfortable because you can hide behind your computer. :) Boy THAT was a run on! I kinda type like I talk and don't worry about punctuation. (not that I would even knoe how to use it correctly) but anyways I'm rambling. Don't know if that made sense or not but it does to me. :)
I just want these ladies to know how much they mean to me. :)

Totally Selfish Request

This is a test....just a test...if noone responds that is totally ok because I know this is totally selfish and maybe a bit tacky but most of you don't know me IRL and never will so if you think that then I'll never know right?

There's a big Christmas concert here every year and the best thing is it's FREE! and guess who is guest singing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir this year!!.....David Archueleta!!!! Oh man I gotta go. It's almost impossible to get tickets because there's like a bigillion registrations from all over the place so you're chances of getting picked are pretty slim so therefore it only makes sense that the more registrations you have the better the chance right? Anyways you can only register once each computer.....soooooo if any of you are feeling particularly altruistic and would like to do something for someone who is willing to beg please let me know and I'll email you on the details of how to register (all you have to use is your name; you can have them sent to my address)

I've never done anything this bold before so before I lose my nerve I better hit publish :)

Friends you Love-Crystal

Today I have the pleasure of welcoming Crystal at Wanna Be Balanced Mom Crystal is such an awesome lady and wonderful mom of two.
Any woman can serve a mission.
But only a strong, wise women will learn and grow from it.
Here she is:

Hello Everyone, it's great to be here today guest blogging for Tylaine. I recently had the opportunity of meeting Tylaine in person a few weeks ago, and have really enjoyed getting to know her more through her wonderful blog.



Well, today I thought I'd share with you a few things I learned while serving and LDS mission. What inspired this post was actually my very own journal. While reading up a bit on my missionary journal, I'm reminded of just how HARD my mission really was, and I mean this in a good way. I've heard that a mission teaches you 15 years worth of lessons all compacted into 18 months-2 years, and boy do I believe it! My mission was the hardest thing I've ever done, but of course wouldn't change a thing about it. What it has given me, is priceless.




As I was reading, I came across one of the many entries that talked about my struggles out there. I had written down parts of this Ensign talk that really spoke to my heart at the time, and I'd like to share it with you. I think we can all relate to this at one point or another.



Be Not Afraid
by President James E. Faust
"I learned the lesson that life's burdens don't seem to be so great if we don't allow ourselves to get paralyzed into a stupor of inactivity by our sorrow and pain."

He goes on to talk about the children's classic The Secret Garden, author Frances Hodgson Burnett. The author writes this commentary:
"So long as Colin shut himself up in his room and thought only of his fears and weakness and his detestation of people who looked at him and reflected hourly on humps and early death, he was a hysterical half-crazy little hypochondriac who knew nothing of the sunshine and the spring and also did not know that he could get well and could stand upon his feet if he tried to do it. When new beautiful thoughts began to push out the old hideous ones, life began to come back to him, his blood ran healthier through his veins and strength poured into him like a flood...Much more surprising things can happen to any one who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has sense to remember in time to push it out by putting in an agreeable determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place. 'Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow.' "
Sometimes we allow ourselves to fall into this trap of self pity and doubt, and forget about the huge potential we really have. Most of us don't even know what we are capable of, and sadly may never know. It takes great strength to rise above our burdens.

The beginning of my mission was especially rough for me. I couldn't speak the language yet, was completely exhausted, homesick, and feeling inadequate in every way. It took a little time, and a lot of patience before I began feeling like I knew what I was doing, and could say what I wanted to say.
I didn't see a whole lot of lives being changed while I was there, and sometimes wondered why I had come in the first place.

A few main things I learned on my mission was:

#1- My mission was mostly for ME, to go through the ups and downs, and to prepare me for the life I was about to lead. All of our REALLY tough lessons, ALWAYS lead to something great!

#2- We may never know of the lives we've touched or the people we've inspired or helped along the way. All we can do is be mindful of others who may be in need of encouragement, kind words or even a little love. We may be an answer to someone's prayers without even doing much but simply being there with a smile on our face.


#3- Be grateful for our OWN individual talents, and have faith that we too have something extraordinary to offer the world. Push out those negative thoughts, enjoy the sunshine, stand up on our feet, and do it!

Calling evil good and good evil

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Isaiah 5:20

In the Old Testament, Isaiah spoke of how Israel had an impaired ability to recognize good and evil. In Sunday School today one of the things we discussed was how we do that today. I think we definately see this today in so many ways and it is only getting worse.

The first example that came to mind of evil becoming good is pornorgraphy. It is disgusting how far things have gone with this. Decades ago what was considered hard porn is now soft porn and what was considered soft porn is mainstream; what is considered hard porn today was absolutely unimaginable then. I used to spend a fair amount of time on the religion forum at city-data. Ofcourse this was a hot topic and it was amazing to me how many people considered porn ok even good in some ways. This insiduous evil is becoming more and more prevalent in our society and sadly more and more tolerated.

My second thought was that of homosexuality. Now this is an extremely heated subject so obviously there are people that will get offended. Don't be afraid of your opinions. We all have a right to free speech. This is in noways saying that homosexuals are evil people in anyway. I don't even like grouping people. People are people and we are all children of God. All I'm saying is that living a homosexual lifestyle is becoming so mainstream and so pushed for that if you are against it you are considered a bigot. Everyone has a right to believe what they want and if you don't believe in the Bible that is just fine. But I do and the Bible states that

Lev. 18: 22
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Lev. 20: 13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have
committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be
upon them.
Romans 1: 24-27
Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
For this cause God agave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their alust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

That is pretty clear to me. Homosexuality is wrong. And I do not agree with the "world" trying to get society to say it is ok. Believe what you want but that's my opinion.

Another thought that came to me (and I'm sure this'll get some panties in a knot too)
is extreme feminism. Men and women are created equal and a marriage should be an equal partnership. That does NOT mean that men and women have the same roles on this earth. You don't hear men screamin' that they can't have babies do you? There are certain roles in life that are meant for women and some that are meant for men. Men and women are here to help eachother fulfill their individual purposes on this earth not compete for them.

Do you have any thoughts on how evil can be seen as good today?

Seeing good as evil is a bit trickier. I thought awhile on this and the main thing I can think of is just how we as a society treat other people. As sad as it is I think sometimes helping someone can be looked down on is some circumstances which I won't go into. It all has to do with juding. Since when should what other people think come before helping someone in need.

Organized religion or any religion really can sometimes be seen as "uncool" or "restricting". If you believe in God or a Higher Power you are not giving credit to yourself and blindly following what others tell you to do; You're not an intellectual. Isn't it sad that trying to live a virtuous, morally clean life can be seen as a negative thing?

What do you see as good becoming evil in today's society?

ALSO: Please be sure to check out my guest post with the lovely and awesome Amanda at Enchanting Havoc :)

Friends you Love-Brittany!

Thankyou to Brittany at Unexpected Surprises for doing my first ever guest post on my blog. :) She is such an absolute sweetheart and I hope you check her out and come to love her as much as I have!

We all love our children.

Well MOST of us love our children.

In fact for most of us it starts the exact moment our eyes latch on to their perfect little smooshed up faces fresh from the womb.

How can you love someone so much that you met seconds earlier?

More then that, how can you love someone you haven’t even met?

I fell in love with my son the second I found out he was in my tummy.

My entire life changed!

I was living and doing things completely for him.

I sometimes think I can’t love him any more then I do right now..

And then he’ll do something and I fall completely in love with him all over again.

The other night we were finishing up our bed time routine.

You know the usual: books, songs, prayers, kisses…

When it got to the kisses, I bent down to kiss his perfect pouty lips.

I looked down at him with my hair draping around his face, and he flung his little arms around my neck.

He laced his fingers together, and proclaimed: “I am never letting you go, my little mommy!”

He held on so tight that when I tried to sit up, he lifted up with me!

The smile on his face, and the feeling of his love made my heart feel fuller then its ever felt!

I love how much he loves me!

I love that he isn’t afraid to say it!

So I hugged him longer that night.

I smelled him deeply.

He smelled of “little boy.”

The scent of baby has vanished from his skin.

Just as it is gone, I know that these moments with my son will soon vanish as well.

One day he wont want to cuddle with me before bed.

One day he wont wrap his arms around me so tightly.

One day it wont be cool to kiss his mommy before saying goodbye.

But I know that there will never-ever be a day that we will stop loving each other.

I know that one day when he is big and grown, that he’ll wraps his big arms around
me, and I will have that overwhelming feeling of love all over again.

That moment when I don’t think I can love him anymore then I do in that exact second.
Because if there is one thing I have learned in my 3.5 years of being a mother it is that my love for him only gets stronger and that each and every moment is something to treasure.

So embrace your child today.

Tell them you love them.

Smell in their sweet sent of innocence…

And feel your heart fill with that overwhelming feeling of love all over again!


Then...

and Now

Day 14 of Day of Truth

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

This is a toughie. I've talked about disappointments from my family and my husband before but I really don't wanna go there anymore. I don't think it's right to dwell on that and I wanna move forward. So instead I wanna talk about someone (not a hero) who is constantly letting me down and that's myself.

Dear Self,

It's time you made a change in your outlook on life and therefore your relationships and your happiness. It's time you stopped letting yourself down. It's time you started living up to your potential. It's time for no more regret.

On a sidenote: I would totally appreciate any suggestions of books to read on personal relationship, or personal success or stuff like that. I just finished reading an awesomely fantabulous book called The Traveler's Gift recommended by the wonderful Amanda atEnchanting Havoc I would highly recommend it.

Day 13 of Day of Truth

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.

Well not an artist in the musical sense but still an artist.

Dear J.K Rowling and Stephanie Meyer,

You sistas Rock! You allowed my imagination to drift away from the hellish world I was temporarily living in. If only for a brief moment I could jump into the world of Harry Potter or lust after Edward Cullen (hey its not a sin if it’s a mythical creature right?) You sistas were always there for me with a wonderful exciting escape from the suckiness I had goin' on. When the tears and hurt came to the surface all I had to do was pick up a book to push them away which was essential to survival. Thankyou for allowing me into your fantasy worlds.

P.S. Gotta give props to Josh Groban who is helping me now. If you could make it with a voice. His would be it! :)

Beautiful Bloggy Friends

I received this "sweet" award from my bloggy buddy Di atLittle Bit of Life She's great so you should go check her out and she's pregnant so she may kick your butt if you don't!

You're supposed to answer this one teeny question and then share the love with 4 other "sweet" bloggers. Like Di, I'm going to team up with frienship month (or whatever it's called) and ask these four lovely ladies if they'd like to guest post on my blog. I've never done that and thought it'd be kinda neat but if you don't wanna that's perfectly O.Kay. :)



So here goes: If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

I think I would change myself back then and give myself more confidence to be who I was and to not hide things because I was ashamed or whatever. I would of enjoyed school more and put more of myself into my assignments rather than just barely getting my (ya used my brain more :)) Ya I could go on and on but it's a quick question right :)

And the award goes to:

Brittany at Unexpected Surprises This girl is like the epitome of sweetness but yet has a sassy side too ;)

Jane at Aging Mommy Jane is such a talented writer and such an amazing woman with an amazing attitude. BTW she is 47 with a 3 yr. old daughter so I think she deserves a standing ovation!!

Crystal at Wanna Be Balanced Mom I just recently met Crystal IRL and she is one of the most gorgeous people I've ever met. Both inside and out.

Kerry at Just Me (Don't you just love the name!) Kerry is fairly new at her personal blog and I think she has done such a beautiful job!

If you haven't check these "sweet" ladies out please go and show them some love! :)

PYHO

Shell,

I hope you know how awesome you are for doing this meme. It is so wonderful to read other's heartfelt words and being able to relate to people we never thought we would. Blogging is so wonderful like that. Bringing people together :)



Ok this post is probably gonna be really depressing and full of self loathing and oh poor meisms but I just really need to get it out there.

How do I stop comparing myself? How can I be happy with who I am? With what I can do when someone always does it better?

I'm tired of hearing just try harder. Just be positive. Ok but how? Seriously I honestly don't think I'll ever get to a point where I don't compare myself and that comparing tends to give me a major inferiority complex. Comparing. Every. Single. Aspect of my Life! And then there's looking at it from the other angel which is well look at what you do have compared to people in third world countries and you're healthly beautiful children and so on. I don't wanna hear that cause I do know it and it just makes me feel worse about feeling worse ya know? Maybe I just need to move to a third world country. Someone there is probably more worthy to live in this privileged country than I am.

Please tell me how. I've read so many blogs and just heard about people coming out of a darkness in their life, finding themselves and finding happiness. How? Do you just think your way out of the mess? Or will your way? I tell ya I would do just about anything not to feel this way. I hate it. I'm so appreciative of the advice and kind words I have gotten from so many, I just don't know how to internalize them. And it's not just a funk like many said on another pathetic post I wrote (although I do appreciate your comments). I've felt this way for a long time. I think there's just times when I'm able to push it down farther. Feelings Buried Alive Never Die (ok that's not original it's a book title) But so true right?
Please tell me your secret? I want to know! I don't know exactly how to change??

Test

.............

Mommy and Me Monday, 11&12 DOT and a guest post

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

We do enjoy playing outside in our backyard! (not looking forward to the weather change...mom that is!)

I love this picture ('cept I look constipated)


Just look at dat face!


One in each hand!




Since these next two are really short I'm just gonna combine them.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

My eyes. Don't see it but people have often said I have nice eyes. At the time in my life I couldn't talk my mom said I had very expressive eyes.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

I guess I could say something smart like my baby belly or flabby arms…lol but who gets complimented on that right?
So I'm guessing it's something you wish you were and aren’t? My mothering skills, my well behaved children, my super clean house, my crafting skills, my….oh this is supposed to be realistic right? Ok I'll go with my teeth……I really wish they were whiter but I'm too chicken to do bleaching. (I think I was supposed to say something I'm good at that I don't get compliments on but well…just can't think of any really)

And now….please please go over to Di's at a Little Bit of Life and read my very first guest post and let me know what ya think!! (well only if you like it :))

Sidenote: I turned off the comments on my last post and now I can't get them back. I switched all the settings back and they still won't come back! Can somebody please email me and let me know how to get them back!

Friday Confessional

-Last night I met 7 other awesome Utah bloggers


-they were hilarious

-they are absolutely fabulous and it was wonderful to meet them all!

-if you haven't checked them out you really should

Of course you know Glamazon our gorgeous hostess. She is so nice and so funny!

And Laura the Purseblogger needs no introduction. I'm sure everyone knows how fabulous she is. She is an all time sweetie and I adore her. She was my first follow and has always been a loyal friend and commenter on my blog. (who knows why? ;))

Mindi from was there from Mindi's Manic Meanderings She is frickin' hilarious people. Where does she come up with this stuff? I LOVE her. She needs to write a comedy book man!!

Kellie came from Hendrick's Family with her beautiful new baby boy! She looks absolutely fabulous and is so sweet. I'm so glad I got to know her better.

Next we have the amazing Ky-ann from Insanity is Overreated(like the pepper only hotter) All I can say is pure awesomeness! She is fabulous and hilarious and it was so nice to get to know her.

Crystal was there from Wanna Be Balanced Mom . She is totally gorgeous and had on the cutest little jacket that I totally wanted to steal. She is super duper nice and sweet.

And certainly not last was the wonderful Kate from Smug Marrieds. Again with the gorgeousness! Kate is awesome. So funny and so sweet!!

It was so nice to get to know all of you ladies!!


Now for the darker confession:




-the whole time I couldn't even really believe I was there because I was so close to not even starting a blog; this blog world is so huge and overwhelming

-I have a "short" complex (among many others)

-I wore platform shoes thinking if I boost my height I might boost my self esteem

-didn't happen

-why can't I be happy with myself?

-maybe I shouldn't be so personal on my blog

-I feel like people just feel sorry for poor little me (insert whiny voice)

-I have to do a lesson for church Sunday and I was sososo hoping that last month's would be my last cause I sosososoSO want to move to Idaho!!!

-But part of me thinks that's selfish because my kids are so happy here, they love their school, but they'd be happy anywhere right? they're young

-I need a change, no many changes and I'm hoping a move would give us a fresh start cause things just ain't that good right now

-I'm kinda bummed

-why would anyone want to be around me when I don't want to be around myself?

-I need major self esteem surgery

-sorry for the pity party

-can I borrow your life for awhile?

I think I have a tapeworm!

Ya seriously no joke ladies....I eat like 3 times as much as my husband.

I think I have a basketball in my lower abdomen. I put on a pair of my jeans today that I just wore a couple days ago and I couldn't even do them up!!! (granted they were extremely tight the day before but still!! not a good sign) This is the roundest I've ever been and let's just say I'm not one to freak out or get obsessed about weight loss or anything but ahhh!!! just a little. I always read your metabolism drops at 30 and then again at 35 so watch out...and I was all like whateva!! but I think it's true. I'm still eatin' like I'm 19 but I'm not lookin' like I'm 19! So here I am gettin ready for the next drop in a couple years and if things get worse I will fully freak out! Now I don't mean to sound vain or anything I'm really not concerned as much with my actual weight or even how I look so much (ok so I can't lie) but I just wanna be healthy and extra belly fat is not healthy. I've decided to make a concious effort to brave the eliptical machine that's collecting dust in our room at least 4 times a week. So it's thurs. and I've done it twice and you know what?....I'm dang outta shape! I don't wanna be huffin' for breath after 2 min. There's 70 year olds more in shape than that! (Not that I wanna be that ambitious) So I guess I need to start makin' a few changes then:

1. Actually do the above said eliptical torture er uh workout. (I've resolved myself so many times to do something and then petered out so many times, I've used pragnancy and nursing as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted (no wait I still do that :)) I even bought a 45 dollar book online and read the whole thing and was all pumped to do this stuff....right!) Now remember I'm only talkin' like 20 or so min. on the machine not a 2 hour workout like crazy insane people do (just kidding I actually used to really enjoy spending hours at the gym pre kids :))

2. Stop eating 3 breakfasts
Ya that's right....I eat one with my two oldest in the morning and then after I drop Ethan off at school I eat 3/4 off Emma's that I'm feeding her (bad mom!) and then I usually get famished again at 10 o'clock......Seriously tapeworm guys!!

3. Replace ice cream, chocolate bars, and kettle corn with healthier snacks (not all the time ofcourse....come on be real!)
Ok I bet noone will believe this but I would actually rather snack on fruits and vegies and stuff but they're so dang expensive! I keep saying to myself the grocery stores are in a conspiracy to make people fat! Seriously it's expensive to eat healthy!

4. The opposing two days I do not do torture machine fun I will do some weights. Ya I know that's only 6 days. Sunday is my day of rest....gotta have some break. (if you've ever chased a toddler around for an hour you will know church is enough of a workout!)

There. :) *sigh* I think that's a good start.

Defining Moments

Last week I talked about My Story and how I feel that it was a defining time in my life. Shaped who I am today. Whether they be big or small we all have defining moments in our life that shape and define who we are as a person. Sometimes they may be actual moments of decision...a choice that takes us on a different path in life; or they may be periods of time in our life that mold our character.
My illness was definately a "molding character" type of thing for me. I don't think I would be the person I am today or be where I am today if I hadn't gone through that. That was the first major defining time in my life. And the defining was quite gradual it that makes sense?
Other times it was a defining moment. Like when I chose to be baptized in my church. When I chose to move to Utah and get married. When I had each of my children. These are small moments in time but the defining continues throughout life.
There are many many decisions we make everyday that help define who we are. Saying yes to the responsibility of teaching the Gospel even though I really know nothing of the Gospel. Finally deciding to go vist another young mom in my area and getting to know what a wonderful person she is. Deciding that its OK to share myself on this blog and that I am worth getting to know and do have something to offer other people.

So what are the defining moments in your life? Really.....I DO wanna know :)

Day 10 of Day of Truth

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Well I know I've talked about it once before here but I guess for now I need to let my sister go. I don't understand what or why this change happened in her life. I don't understand why she felt she needed to leave. I don't understand why she is alienating her family. It is like she is reinventing herself from what we used to know but we don't know her now.
I hope someday she comes back.

Mommy and Me Monday and Day 9 of Day of Truth

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?


Last night we took the kids to the park. I got Danny to snap a pic. with his cell phone. It was super windy out as you can tell. And yes the kids are already in their pj's. They love going for "pajama" walks in the morning or evening.


Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Well ofcourse with moving to a different country there's usually a couple friends who drift away but sad as it is I'm gonna have to go with my brother.
Ofcourse we haven't T O T A L L Y let go, I mean we'll always be brother and sister and always love eachother but I think when we started drifting was when I moved away to college. We always had quite a close relationship growing up (being only 13 months apart) but when he started getting his own friends (and of course I had no social life) I tried to tag on sometimes. Like I used to play poker often with him and his friend. But as he got older we drifted, and then I went away to college and he stayed and went to university. The short summer I came home before moving down here we came together a little but not the same as when we were kids. It'll never be the same. Now we're both married and I've tried to initiate conversation (through email) but he's just never been the talking kind and it doesn't help we're 1000 miles apart. Maybe if we're closer. I want to be able to talk to him but a relationship has to be two ways.

My Story

Thankyou toMama Katfor putting up this great prompt that allows me to share my story.



I'm also linking up with Shell for PYHO. Growing up I always felt somewhat ashamed of what happened to me. Obviously getting sick is noone's fault so it really does not make sense yet it is one of those irrational human emotions. Each time I share my story I think it makes me a little more confident in what happened and really be able to grow more from it.



I turned 9 at the beginning of Dec. and a couple days after Christmas my life changed forever. I collapsed, I went into convulsions, I went to the ER, I had spinal taps, I had Cat Scans, I had blood tests, I had lost almost every physical function of my body, they couldn't find anything was wrong with me. My mom begged to differ, she even brought in pictures of me to prove I used to be "normal". So….three different rooms, hours and hours of physical and occupational therapy, so much love and support, many great memories, 2 different hospitals and six months later I'm home. I get sick, I had therapy, I come home…..over right? WRONG. This is only the beginning. I still had a couple months of outpatient therapy, a few MRI's to go to and seeing a neurologist now and then and doing retarded tests that I absolutely loooooooaaaathed!!

But guess what? Years later I got to go on Oprah!

Oprah: Many times loved ones of loved ones (ya she speaks like this) turn inside and don't know how to deal with illness. How did your family react?

Me: I had the most supportive family in the world at that time in my life. My Mother, who was my absolute hero, did so much for me I can never truly thank her. Between work and home and taking care of my brother and sister she would come to the hospital 2 or 3 times a day to read to me; she would spend hours feeding me with an eyedropper, loving me and fighting for me when noone else would. I can't imagine what she went through. My dad who is somewhat one of those people you spoke of, would try to visit me almost every evening. Ofcourse he came afterhours when all the lights were off and each night I would wait behind the nurses desk (they all loved me) and watch that elevator intently. When it binged and my Dad walked out oh how my 9 year old face lit up. He would take me in my wheelchair down to the cafeteria where I would have my Doritos and then he would take me back to my room and tuck me in with those so wonderfully clean hospital sheets and blankets that I've come to love the smell of. Other family members would also visit me often. Having pizza at naptime with my aunt was one of my favorite times also. I have many other great memories of the support I received but I'll……

Oprah: (interrupting)….You talk a lot

Me: I know right?

Oprah: So how did your peers react? Were you held a year behind because you had missed 6 months?

Me: Because I was so young elementary school was still pretty good as far as the students being nice and accepting to me. All my insecurities came from myself. It wasn't until junior and high school that I received ignorant comments that were hurtful to me.
My very wise mom decided that it would not be a good idea to have me and my brother in the same grade so she chose not to hold me back which I think was probably the best thing. Before my illness my IQ was extremely high and although it did drop quite a bit right after it did come back, not quite to that level.

Oprah: How has your illness affected your life?

Me: Although at the time it seemed to have many negative effects in my life once I matured a little and saw things different I now can say it was one of the best things for my life. I am truly a better person. I think I have more compassion for other people that I might not have had. I was angry because there were so many physical things that I used to do that I could no longer do (well not nearly as well) but I think those things were replaced by qualities of character that are much more important.

Oprah: So do you believe your recovery was a miracle?

Me: I absolutely do and get this…even some of the doctors called me a miracle. There is just no way I could have recovered the way I did without a miracle. And that miracle had to have come from God.

Oprah: How has this experience helped your faith?

Me: Well before I don't think I ever really thought of faith. I mean I went to church and went through all the motions but I never felt anything.
It wasn't until I was about 19 that I think I truly started seeing this as a miracle and seeing how God directs our lives. There are times, especially right now when life kinda sucks, that I kinda wonder why He kept me around but I do believe that's what happened and I do believe there must be a reason. I just I find it soon. If I'm really diggin' deep I can admit to finding some of that reason but my insecure, low self esteem, doubting self doesn't like me to admit that. Workin' on that :)


(In case you're kinda slow like me I really wasn't on Oprah…that was just the prompt :))


This is a poem that I wrote in College many eons ago. I hope I have grown since then. :)

GONE

My life was stolen
Never given back
The way it used to be
Why?
Is it for the best?
Do I matter?
Will I matter?
I'm lost
Fear surrounds me
made up in my head
I don't care
Why should they?
Questions of doubt
Questions of pity
Will I stop
Who can answer?
No one knows
But me and Him
Is He there?
Is He listening?
Sometimes I wonder
I won't stop trying
I will fight
You may join
I welcome Thee
My heart is open
Set it free

(ya I never said I was a writer :))

Mommy and Me Monday and Day 8 of Day of Truth

I hope I'm not breaking any rules here or anything but I thought it'd be kinda nice to review some mommy and me moments with the babes in the past. They grow up so fast and what mom doesn't love to go back and look at pictures of her babes! :)

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?



Don't you wonder what goes through babies minds sometimes. They have these intense looks sometimes like they're trying to read you or something. "So you're my mommy"

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.

Well I would say crap is a little strong but I do wish my Dad had (did) treated me a bit better. Not that he doesn't love me to death and I love him, he just didn't make very good decisions. When I was 4 my Dad cheated on my mom and then made her get a divorce because he had no grounds (back then getting a divorce actually meant something). On his turns to take us he would often take us to his girlfriends and make us stay up for hours when we were tired and just wanted to go home. I remember one time I got really really sick and wanted my mom and he wouldn't even take me home! Hello your child wants their mom and is 6 yrs. old get off your butt say goodbye to your skanky girlfriend and do what's best for your child for once!!! Ofcourse all this was unbeknownst to my mom and she had to find out from her 10 yr. old daughter. Anyways all growing up I really wish I had had a better relationship with my dad. I could never really talk to him and he missed so much of our growing up. We have an ok relationship today (ofcourse he would say its the best) but it will never be the daddy-daughter relationship that all daughters deserve.

Day 7 of Day of Truth

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Definately my three little angels.

Right now life pretty much sucks (ya for a priveleged life living in America), but it does. My three little angels are the lights in my darkness and without them I wouldn't wanna get outta bed some mornings. Without them I might just lay in bed and cry all day. But with them I can find some happiness. I can find joy in their joy. I watch them play and my heart is full.

Day 6 of Day of Truth

It's Day 6 of the Day of Truth challenge with Angel Believes

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do

It seems to be a common thread with mothers that their worst nightmare would be one of theit kids passing before they do. The other night I watched a true show about a mother's struggle with her son's epilepsy. My heart broke for her. Anything that hurts or upsets your child is a dagger to the heart. How helpless I feel when my child has the flu or something and there's nothing you can do. If I could I would take away any pain or hurt that my child would feel. I can't even imagine the heartache of losing your child.

Mommy and Me Monday and Day 5 of Day of Truth

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

My little man started 1st grade today. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Don't know if I should rejoice in the semi quiet time with only two little girls or I should cry and feel guilty for all the mornings I could have done more "fun" activities with him. Right now I'm leaning more towards the latter but hopefully that will change to the former. :)



That was then...



This is now...

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life

I joined my church when I was 19 years old so I never really thought much about serving a mission because women usually go when they are 21. By that time though I was involved with Danny. I got married at 22 but I always wondered what it would be like and I kinda wished I had had that experience. So one of my goals, OUR goals, is to serve a mission together later in life.

Day 4 of Day of Truth-Forgiveness

It's Day 4 of the Day of Truth challenge with Angel Believes

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

3 years ago my husband became addicted to a prescription drug. Because of this he became very mentally ill and his behaviour was beyond abnormal. It is a very long story but he did many hurtful things to me and many others (not on purpose....he was sick) but still the hurt and anger lingers and it is a struggle for me to truly forgive. It is easy enough to say, oh ofcourse I do he's my husband I love him, but when I'm alone and really think deep down I don't know if I completely have forgiven.

Is that awful??

Day 3 of Day of Truth

It's Day 3 of the Day of Truth Challenge with Angel Believes.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I really can't seem to get over this mommy guilt thing. I yell to much. I don't do enough crafts. I don't read enough. Oh no I should be teaching my children to read, good grief my kid is 6 and doesn't know how to read yet! My kids deserve the world and I fall so very short. But then again I AM the mom they got. I guess somehow I need to get over it and learn to forgive myself for not being a super mom!

30 Days of Truth-Love

It's Day 2 (for me) or 30 days of Truth with Angel Believes and the question is:

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love the fact that I am very sincere. Sincere to the point of easily getting hurt by others sincerity. I guess I'm just not jaded enough from this hard world. I'm just an anti-guile type of person. Don't go for it! It's nasty stuff.

Mommy and Me Monday and a New Challenge!

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?
My kids and I have spend quite a bit of time in our backyard this summer. Just playing on our playset and the patio and blowing up the pool. The other week I took the camera out and ofcourse my son wanted to take pictures too! This is one he took.


I've been seeing this 30 Days of truth Challenge by
Angel Believes pop up on blogs and thought it looked very interesting. The questions are quite thought provoking and can bring you back into your past. I'm not sure if I can get through it as some of the questions are kinda tough and I don't have a lot of experience with them but I'm gonna give it a shot! I recommend anyone trying it! :)

First question:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Well this ones a little easier than it should be but then again we are our own worst critic (I hate cliches) I would have to say the fact that I'm so shy and introverted and not the real me with people. I have a good friend back home that I can totally be myself with: crack jokes, be a goof, cry my eyes out... and she still loves me and even thinks I'm funny?? Deep down I know that other people would too or at least not be mean or anything and keep their thoughts of "what a geek" or "how pathetic" to themselves. I know why I have such low self esteem because I didn't always I just wish I could make it go away.

Boys and Cars

This week on of the promps from Mama Kat's Workshop was the first date you went in a boy's car. Now I'm not sure this qualifies as a dat although I'm sure it did in his eyes. :)




I had been going to my church's single functions and stuff for a while and never even seen this guy once. I see him once and suddenly he sniffs me out like everytime!! Being the nice person I am I talk to him and smile my lovely smile all nicey nicey (even though he's not really the kind of guy I'd hang out with). So we talk and talk and has a few issues in his life that I, being the nice person I am, try to help him deal with. We meet at chuch. We meet in his car. We talk.

At the time I was going to a religious institute like all day everyday and I musta mentioned it because one day he shows up!!! No more sleeping in the library in the morning for me! Ya he just shows up!!! Comes to my classes with me. Hangs on my every breath. Seriously I cough, I sneeze, I sigh, I blink; he looks at me like "Oh my gosh what's wrong, is she ok, do I need to do mouth to mouth?" Dude don't you work or something??

So me, being the nice person I am, indulges him and we play pool and pingpong and have more deep convos and he takes me out for lunch in his totally awesome jeep. His family like owns a theatre so I guess he has tons of money and doesn't really do anything all day. I mean what was he doing before he started stalking me?? Really though he wasn't the creepy stalker type more the "I'm gettin' older and wanna get married" desperate type. Unfortunately he wasn't the only "I'm gettin' older and wanna get married" desperate type the was attracted to me. What's the deal?

Anyhoo, after a while of this I'm gettin' kinda ticked at this guy encroaching on my special "me" time at the institute. But me, being the nice person I am, puts on a happy face and sucks it up. Finally I've had enough. This is the night at the singles dance. After about the 6th dance with this guy, holding his sweaty hands and enduring his awkward smiles and fake laughs at whatever I say, I've had enough. I pull him aside and say we have to talk. Me, being the nice person I am, can not just say the obvious; "You're suffocating me with your desperateness and awkwardness and I just can't take it anymore!!!" but sugarcoates everything and tries to let him down easy but unfortunately it is difficult because this guy does NOT take a hint! (and believe me I tried)

So the conversation went something like this:

Me: P we gotta talk

P: Anything for you darling (awkward giggle)

Me: You're kinda sorta imposing on my personal space and freedom and it needs to end

P: What???

Me: I'm just not worthy of you're undivided attention and devotion and think we need to end it

P: But I love you so much! I just love you so much!

Me: You'll get over it and find someone who has the same (clingy, desperate) loving qualities as you do.

P: O *sniff* K *sniff* I love you! Bye

Me: Boy that was hard. At least I can have my sleeping in the library back.


He sure had a nice car though!

Mommy and me Monday and a lovely tatoo

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Yesterday after church I was lying down on the couch while Ethan played with his tinkertoys and as often happens Aria came and lied down with me. Ofcourse I had to get Danny to snap a picture. :)



Yesterday was also our 10th anniversary. Sat. afternoon I was just half sitting half laying on the bed and suddenly I felt this writing on my legs. I looked and this is what I saw:



Pretty cool! That'd be a dang cool tatoo (if I was into that sorta thing :))

Sad

A good man who should be living life and being happy with his family is not. Because he is lying in a hospital room right now dying. He is a long time friend of Danny's family, he was there when Danny was born, he was a youth leader of his and quite influential in his growing up, he is a bishop in his Church, he has a wonderful loving family and now because of some stupid, idiotic, impatient driver, he is dying.
G. came down from Idaho to visit Danny's family. He went to see my FIL and after he left while driving on I-15 he was smashed into the side by some moron whizzing through all 4 lanes to make his exit. G.'s car rolled down the embankment and smashed into a thick concrete poll. He was lifeflighted to the University hospital. The doctors say if he was younger and didn't have the preexisting health problems he had he would of made it. Unfortunately his body could not sustain the injuries. So now because of some stupid, moronic, impatient prick, G. is lying in a hospitable bed dying.
I do not know G. personally but Danny does. So therefore I feel I do. I am very saddened for G. and his family and all the lives he has touched that will mourn his loss. It is very hard to undertand why things like this happen.
I cannot help but also feel a little (very little) saddness for the poor shmuck that did this. He is not a malevolent, evil person. He is just a selfish jerk who doesn't think before he acts. Now he has taken an innocent human life. He will have to live with that regret for the rest of his life. I sure wouldn't want that.

I wish I could of known you G.
I pray your family will find peace
I know you will.

Camping

I don't have just one camping story to recall but I have many fond memories of camping growing up. I was quite young so the memories are a little foggy.

My Dad was the one that would always take us camping. There was one time we went with my uncle and aunt and their dog max. This is probably the one I remember most. I think I was about 6 yrs. old. Here's what I remember:

-Max gets into a fight with a horse and gets a bloody nose (Max was a Doberman and the biggest suck of a dog you ever knew....why he would pick a fight with a horse is beyond me???)
-I'm fishing while my aunt and her friend are soaking up some rays, fish hook gets stuck in my sundress (I ALWAYS wore dresses when I was younger, even fishing)
-My aunt tries to get it off but it is so tangled that she asks me to take it off so she can untangle it
-Little modest 6 yr. old me says "someone might see" (ya we're in the middle of nowhere and someone might come walking out of the woods to see my bare 6yr. chest with my little boobies the size of marshmallows)
-Showering from a makeshift shower in the trees
-Digging potty holes (the one reason I never wanna go camping in the wilderness again)
-We find a log boat or somthing on the brown creek river that we sit on and have a little "partay" (ya I'm 6)...well the adults
-The warmth of the sun in the tent in the afternoon
-Sitting around the campfire looking for falling stars
-S'mores!!

A few other memories from other camping trips:

-My brother falling off the shoulders of this guy (who's relationship to us would just be confusing :)) causing him to lose his beloved sunglasses
-Then my brother calling him his hero for the rest of the trip
-BACKGAMMON!!!!! WooHoo
-Everything in the tent getting wet because it was touching the tent when it rained
-My Dad killing a squirrel by throwing an apple at it (no he did not mean to kill the squirrel)
-waking up to snow in the summer
-FISHING!!! lots of fishing
-coming home once and having to pull over because the rain and hail were so bad; cars were hydroplaning and visibility was pretty much zero

Fun times!! Fun times!!!

Thanks to Mama Kat for great prompts.

PYHO-????

I've been thinking and thinking today about what I could write about but nothin'. I really want to write something because I feel so disconnected from the blog world that so warmly received me 3 months ago. This wonderful meme by Shell was probably the biggest persuasion for me to start my blog and I would like to thank her for that.



I have read so many wonderful PYHO posts that I can relate to so much. Why can't I write that eloquent when I'm feeling down? I want people to relate to me to. I need support just like anyone else. But I feel as if if I don't have ideas for writing and only post once in a while that I'm left in the dust. I've felt that too much in my life and I don't wanna feel that way at 32 for goodness sake!!! I know I need to participate in things and share myself if I want reciprocity so I don't wanna sound selfish or anything. I have done that and many times got nothing in return so it's kinda hard to put your heart out there.

I am down.
I feel like we're in a rut.
The economy is big time kickin' our butts.
We need a change. a BIG change.
We need to find us again.
I want to be stronger for my kids.
I don't want my kids to have an insecure mom.
I don't want my kids to be insecure.
I want to be able to be assertive for my kids.
I want to be able to be assertive for me.
I hate mom guilt. but I don't know how not to feel it?
I want to be nicer to my kids.
I want to cherish this time of innocence with them.
I. Just. Want to be Happy.

Mommy and Me-Pioneer Day

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Pioneer day (July 24th) is a pretty big deal here. Almost as big as the 4th. It commemorates the date that the pioneers settled this valley. It is hard to believe that so long ago this beautiful valley was once a dry, inhospitable desert. It is amazing what these pioneers accomplished and we are truly blessed to be living in such a beautifully diverse state. They literally walked across most of the entire United States forging through mountains, valleys, and streams in all kinds of weather. It was truly a miracle.

Butterflies

My kids adore bugs!! What kid doesn't? They would absolutely love this butterfly kit giveaway at Serendipity Mommy from Insect Lore. This is such a cool website! If your kids are into bugs they have tons of fun items and activities and anything bug related!!

Mommy FAIL

When my son was first born the very first night we brought him home we tried to have him in our room like good first parents right? Ya well that lasted about 20 min.....before I pushed his bassinett into his own room. (details are a little blurry so they might be off a tad here) After about the first couple of times I got up my husband barked I'm never gonna get sleep which of course being a new mom and all hormonal almost made me cry so instead of yelling ya you try getting up every hour and latch a vice grip on your nipple for 30 min. and see how you like it! I calmly took my pillow and went into baby's room to sleep on the spare mattress. Well said baby was not sleeping much either and was very fussy or hungry or I don't know. You know why I don't know? Cause I physically could not get myself up! Oh ya! I heard him but couldn't make myself open my eyes! Poor little man! He coulda been hungry or just scared and wanted to be held and comforted.
Oh I hope God wasn't havin' second thoughts.

MOM FAIL!

I got the jealousies...

Bonus points if anyone knows where that comes from :)

...of my kids? Bad mom!

Granpa and Nana Barb and Brother I mean Uncle Drew took Ethan and Aria up to Lava Hot Springs for a couple days while Mom and Dad could chill out here with only little Angel.
So this morning when they left as soon as the door shut something felt different! Two whole days of peace!! I should be jumping for joy right? Instead I just don't know what to do with myself? It really feels weird. I mean I have all this time to myself where I could do this or this or that but part of me just wants to go outside and sit on the kids swing and have a pity party. My kids are 6 and 4 and they have never spent one night away from me. With their outgoing personalities I know they'll have a fabulous time and probably won't even miss mom but mom will miss them and will miss seeing their happy faces swimming in the pool and doing all the fun things they will. :( boo hoo Ok really I'm not THAT selfish....I am glad they're gonna have this fun experience. But what do I do???
Well like a good mom I'll clean their beds and sheets and room and build a new fort for them downstairs. Hmmmm ya....that only takes so much time....What now? Maybe I'll go oon my eliptical machine (which is sadly being neglected) and jam with MJ (ya don't laugh) Maybe a little scrapbooking? Too bad we don't have anymore Lost to watch right now or we could have a Lost night. :) (the sixth season isn't out on NetFlix yet! Im lost without my LOST....lol *snort*)

How do you spend your "me" time without the kids?

Fiber and Lip Gloss

Who has kids who get the proper amount of fiber in their diet? I'd sure like to know that mom's secret. Well if you're like me your kids don't! So these fiber gummies would be a great way for kids to up the fiber in their tummies. If you wanna enter for a free bottle check out Serendipity Mommy

Candace has also hooked up with SoftLips and they are generously giving one of her readers an awesome softlips pkg. of their new "PURE" line on products. (I kinda feel like I sound like a commercial here) Check it out: HERE!

Win a Savvycents Wallet with Menopausal New Mom!

Menopausal New Mom is having an awesome giveaway for TWO fabulous Savvycents wallets! These wallets are a great way to organize all your cards, cash (if you have it), loose change, pictures, whatever! And if you don't wanna carry a purse just carry your cool looking wallet!

Bob the Builder!

My kids are crazy for Bob the Builder! Hey who wouldn't love a short pudy adorable fellow in a tool belt. It teaches good lessons too like working together. Frugal Mom knows Best is having a giveaway for a Bob the Builder DVD! Don't enter cause I want it! :)

PYHO-don't get your hopes up!

Ya well it's pretty hard to regulate your emotions…..especially if you're a woman!

My husband has been unemployed for 6 months now and it sucks big time! Recently he's had this amazing job come possibility come up in Idaho Falls of all places. Who would want to move to Idaho Falls you ask? Well yes us. We have actually been up there once for an overnight trip…..what made me think of going up there?.....I don't know?......maybe it was foreshadowing……."insert creepy music". No seriously it was a beautiful area and we have always wanted to move somewhere smaller and I even actually proposed the idea of living there someday. Soooo…back to the job.
I've researched a bit about it and asked some questions to others who work there and honestly the company sounds too good to be true. But Tylaine…..don't go getting' your hopes up! Ya ya well it's pretty hard when it's something you really want. My head certainly understand that this could very well be another disappointment in our lives but we all know women's heads do not rule the game, right?
So where is this going? I dunno. We just really need something right now. I feel like we are in a rut and we need a change, BIG change and I'm hoping this is it!

I am Mommy of the Year because I'm NOT Mommy of the Year

Let me tell you I am soooo Not mom of the Year:



A day in the Life of "Not" mom of the year (a.k.a. me)

I wake up in the morning at 6:28 and think to myself "hmmm I could either sleep for an extra 20 min. before the kids get up; oh but I really should get up and shower before all the chaos begins so I can devote all my energy to my darling rugrats; nope I'll go for the sleep….(two more min. of self debate)….oh dang the kids are already up! There goes either choice". Now the Mom of the Year would have no quams about what to do and would just jump out of bed, quickly shower, doll herself up and have warm pancakes ready and waiting for the kids when they got up. Cold cereal is our breakfast of choice.
After a few hours of our beloved Netflix (oh what we do without you!) and the totally awesome care bears (and of course Mom of the Year would never let her kids watch anything but the most educational programs for only 30 min. everyday) Ethan and Aria have a yummy lunch of "make-your-own-pizza" (let me assure you this is not the norm; microwaved hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, and dinosaur chicken are a MUST in our house) while Emma downs her store bought, processed lunch of chicken and pasta and mom gets to enjoy her leftover spaghetti standing in the kitchen. Now the Mom of the Year would be able to feed all three kids at the same time while sitting down herself to a wonderful homemade lunch and would never feed her 18 month old anything but homemade lunches made from organic ingredients.
Ethan (my oldest) has been wanting to make a tent/fort for about a week now and has been put off by mom for somethin' or other. No more excuses, here we go. When the tent is done mom crawls inside and has a rest from all the laborious work while the kids run around and make a mess in the kitchen from eating muffins on the counter (at least Emma is accounted for :)). Now mom of the year would never get tired during the day and would spend hour upon hour playing with her kids to their hearts content.
"Ok what ya wanna do now kids, mom is gonna write a blogpost" Ethan and Aria got into Dad's office downstairs (which is supposed to be locked but mom forgot and left it open) and brought up their playdough. Now Mom of the Year would ofcourse be actively playing with the kids and not getting a little short at the "mommy look at this's" every 2 seconds but would joyfully relish all their wonderful playdough creations.
The witching hour is nigh and the kids are going crazy. I'm thinking to myself "Danny you better get home soon!" while I throw a stroganoff into the oven for dinner. (at least we have some good home cooked meals thanks to my mom and Stouffers) But I must admit it's not that bad, I do actually cook once in a while. :)
Now Mom of the Year would never get the least bit irritated with her kids and would have fun, educational craft activities ready to keep the kids busy while she prepares her 4 course meal for her husband which will be on the table as soon as he walks in the door. They eat like this every night with the kids sitting properly at the table using their utensils and having perfect manners (certainly not throwing food or the 18 month old eating on the table since the chairs are being used for previously said tent)
After dinner it's a free for all. Kids play some more in the tent while mom and dad try to have some uninterrupted conversation about the day. They weren't outside today so we'll skip bath tonight and just put em' in bed early. Peace and quiet. Now Mom of the Year would never let her kids have a free for all but always have structured fun and safe playtime (with of course mom crawling on her knees having "fun" with the kids) Bath would never be skipped. Teeth brushing would never be skipped. And 20 minutes of educational reading before bed would never be skipped. She would not let out a sigh of relief either when the kids were in bed and quiet because she would have no stress to get rid of. :)
Mom of the Year would also never feel mom guilt (because ofcourse there's nothing she does wrong with the kids)
Mom of the Year would never judge another mom or herself (because she is perfect and ofcourse has the sweetest and most understanding heart)

But I'll let ya in on a little secret……Mom of the Year does not exist! And we're ALL "NOT" Moms of the year! Yep every one of us. Every mom that loves their kids more than the sun an moon an stars (my saying with my "NOT" mom of the year) and would stick a safety pin in the eye for them. Every mom that puts their happiness and fun above that of being a perfect chef and keeping the house spotless. Every mom that has stepped on legos and tinkertoys multiple times, or had a baby head butt them in the nose and never complained about the bruises all over her feet or her nose bleed. Every mom that has been thrown up on, peed on, pooped on and simply gone and changed like it was no big deal. Every mom that believes in letting kids be kids; wear their pj.s in public and dress themselves in ridiculous clothes because this is the only time in their life they can pull this off; because they will grow up far too fast. Every mom that her heart breaks when her children are sick and there's nothing she can do but would take it upon herself in a second if she could. Every mom that sacrifices things for her kids that only another mom could understand. Every mom that is a "NOT" mom of the Year.

Mommy and Me Monday

Hosted by Krystyn

Thanks to Krystyn for this fun meme that lets moms get precious memories with her babies. :)

Me and my pasi girl!

Friday Confessional

-Today Sucks!

-My mom who visited for a week went home today

-It was a wonderful visit (mostly)

-We did some great shopping (I wish we had money though :))

-Now she's gone and it sucks

-I feel like I'm 13 crying for my mommy

-What's the deal!?

-Arn't you supposed to grow up at 32 with three kids of your own

-I know how hard it is for her to leave the grandkids and that sucks even more

-I know she has to go home to a job she doesn't like (ya who wants to be working at 62) and that sucks

-I already miss her